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Geraldo: When I was 16, I identified myself as bisexual. I remember one time, my mother went to go use our Windows 95 laptop and I was sitting on the bed shaking. I was shivering. I wasn’t sure how she would take it. So I said “What would you say if...

Geraldo: When I was 16, I identified myself as bisexual. I remember one time, my mother went to go use our Windows 95 laptop and I was sitting on the bed shaking. I was shivering. I wasn’t sure how she would take it. So I said “What would you say if I told you that I was bisexual?” What I got wasn’t the typical answer, it was “We’ll talk it about.” She left the room and we never spoke about it. But we didn’t need to because every time people came over, (my mom would be like) “Oh my god, this is my son Geraldo, he’s gay and I love him.” I kinda always knew that it was going to be okay because I have two gay uncles. Growing up, I never knew that being “straight” was how how you were “supposed” to grow up. Being gay was normal to me. It was never “wrong” in my family; it was always accepted.

Louie: How about in school? Were you teased there or made to feel different?

Geraldo: I was teased for being overweight. I was belittled. I was teased for being gay. I was teased in elementary school until high school. I was called the “F” word, I was called “fairy boy.” The whole nine yards, you name it – I was called it.

Louie: Did you tell teachers?

Geraldo: I never really told teachers. I felt like every time something was brought up to a teacher, they would never really handle it so, I just kept it myself and I didn’t really share it with anybody else.

Louie: How about your mother? Did you ever tell her?

Geraldo: I didn’t because I didn’t want her to worry about me. I knew I was really strong and I knew I could handle it by myself. I made a game plan for myself. I was always the happy one. It was always “Talk to Gerlado, he’ll give you the support.” Having people come to me for support was leverage for me. I didn’t have to tell anyone because I was always dealing with other people’s issues and stuff. So that was like my break.

Louie: Did school ever get better?

Geraldo: It did. After 9th grade, I guess everyone just realized that I was “normal” guy who just liked guys. Everyone saw me as Geraldo for once and not just the “gay guy.”

Louie: What is the greatest lesson you have learned that guides your life right now?

Geraldo: I think the greatest lesson that I have ever learned is to live life but not in the moment. In life, we always live in the moment, we never see what is around us. I always tell people – come out your box. It’s so easy, just lift the top up and you really look at what life has to offer you. You look at the past, you look at the present and you also look at the future. Inside our box, we are so enclosed in our surroundings, we can’t see what’s beyond and what’s before us and we cannot add those perspectives. Gain knowledge from the pass and use that for the future. Be open minded and not bitter. Living life is an experience.

Geraldo Oyola, Philadelphia

Interviewed & Photographed by: Louie A. Ortiz-Fonseca

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Louie: Thank you for coming to Philly to meet with me. I really appreciate it. I had wanted to ask you for a while to interview for the project but was afraid. Peter: Why? I love the project. I am glad to do this. I have so many stories. Louie: Let’s...

Louie: Thank you for coming to Philly to meet with me. I really appreciate it. I had wanted to ask you for a while to interview for the project but was afraid.

Peter: Why? I love the project. I am glad to do this. I have so many stories.

Louie: Let’s start with you. Tell me a little about yourself.

Peter: I’m from New York originally. I grew up partly in Glen Clove, Long Island and Delaware. I went to high school in Delaware. I came out…no I didn’t come out, my mother pulled me “out.” A cousin of mine moved from Puerto Rico to North Philly. He passed away, his name was Alfredo. Alfredo was a big queen. I always knew he was a big queen, ya know just “under cover.” Well honey, he got drunk one night and came home to my cousin’s house and was telling my cousin he met these guys and blah, blah, blah. Well they told my stepdad. So my mom told me and I am laughing because I thought it was funny. Mommy goes, she says to me in Spanish, “Don’t laugh about his situation because you into that sort of lifestyle too.” I was 18 at the time and I said “Oh. Well this is my signal to come out.” So eventually I left high school and I came out. I was like “Fuck It. I am not going to be “straight.” I’m not going to pretend.” Because I was pretending. The whole time, I dated girls and that stuff. I did that more for my stepdad than my mom because of that whole machismo thing. So I came out. I said, “My mother knows so I am cool.” Mommy goes “You don’t think I knew? I knew ever since you were little. I was just waiting for you to tell me.” So I don’t have a traditional “coming out” story. I didn’t tell my mom, she told me.

Louie: So what originally brought you to Philly?

Peter: I met this guy who had the same name as the singer Bobby Brown. He was this black dude who lived in North Philly. We met at Smarts* and we started communicating on the phone, ya know it was 80s. he “supposedly” loved me and I “loved” him so I moved to Philly. I didn’t even give my notice. I up and left, I disappeared. My mother didn’t even know where I was for a whole month ‘cuz I was in love. I was 21 at the time and just started going to the clubs.

Louie: Were there other gay Latinos?

Peter: It was me and miss David. Then I met a few other ones. I met Alexis, Pedro, he had long hair and liked to vogue. I met all those Puerto Ricans. But there was a divide because I hung around a whole bunch of black kids. They (the Latino queens) didn’t like because they thought I was trying to be “black.” I was just being me. I got along with everybody but they were ones trying to throw me shade. It was hard at first because you want to be around other Puerto Ricans that were gay and you want to be included in that community because they are not many of us began of the struggle we have amongst ourselves as Latinos.

Louie: How did you get involved in the Ballroom scene?

Peter: The balls, I was introduced to in 1988. I saw people Voguing and carrying on and I didn’t know what it was. And I was like “I wanna do that!” I started learning it by going to the Nile*. It was interesting and I caught on real quick. My first House was the House of Prestige. I was the only Puerto Rican in that House. My category was hair affair and old way. The ballroom was picking up here in Philly. Later I joined the House of Africa. Tracy Africa’s house opened a chapter here in Philly. I did Butch Queen Up In Drags for their House.

Louie: So you are in Delaware now. Why did you move back there and what is gay life out there?

Peter: talk about the gays in Delaware. Let’s talk about the Latino gays in Delaware. There’s hardly none. And the few there that they have are whack. It’s truthful. Then they have the nerve to give you shade and I’m like “Gurl, we should stick together.” Gay life in Delaware is very limited. Philly gay life is “OK” now but Philly back in the day was fun. There was a golden era up to ’94. They have all these new clubs but they are geared to the white gays. They don’t gear to us. Even New York has changed. Nothing’s the same.

Peter DaVilla-Montes, Delaware

Interviewed & Photographed by: Louie A. Ortiz-Fonseca

*Smarts & The Nile were gay night clubs in Philadelphia that had a large black following. Both clubs were closed by the mid-90’s.

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Anthony: Are you from Orlando? Alejandro: I grew up like, I jumped from place to place. I was born in Mayagüez (Puerto Rico) then I moved over here. I was raised a lot between here and Altamonte Springs and here (Orlando.) Then I moved to Philly,...

Anthony: Are you from Orlando? 

Alejandro: I grew up like, I jumped from place to place. I was born in Mayagüez (Puerto Rico) then I moved over here. I was raised a lot between here and Altamonte Springs and here (Orlando.) Then I moved to Philly, Jersey, New York – shit like that. I just bounced around a lot. My mom considers herself a gypsy. So she never wanted to stay in one place. 

Anthony: Do you have any siblings? 

Alejandro: I have my older sister from my mom and then I had my two adopted brothers; their my primos and hermanos. They live with their father now. My sister is grown and I am the only one still with my mom. 

Anthony: How long have you been dancing at Parliament House? 

Alejandro: For like four months. I like it a lot. I like the atmosphere. It’s always turned up. Even if it’s dead there is always a few people here. It’s not as crazy as it used to be. I like Parliament house now it’s more calm its not a lot of people trying to fight and shit. 

Anthony: Which room is the best room to dance in? 

Alejandro: The best money is made in the middle room because that is where everyone is going in and out but I switch rooms. I like to dance to different kinds of music. Whenever it’s Latino night, I like being on my side because of the salsa and merengue. Anthony: How has the environment been here after Pulse? Alejandro: A lot people are scared to come out now and it sucks because when you let people like that change the way you love your life freely, they win. We as a people, we have to look out for each other. We all need to stop doing the bochinche, stop trying to be on some bullshit and some drama. We all need to stand together as a people especially everything we have been through growing up. Everyone is against us so why not stand together? 

Anthony: What is a lesson you have learned that you want other varones to know? 

Alejandro: Sometimes you may go through when you’re younger but don’t never let that change you. When I was growing up, I used to get jumped like five times a day. And I used to go home crying, “Mommy, I don’t understand why these people are going against me.” And now I understand that a lot of was – it wasn’t just because I was gay – it was the fact that I wasn’t proud of who I am You need to be proud of who you are and love yourself before you can expect anyone to accept you for who you are. At the end of the day, don’t no one’s opinion matters except the one above – and he doesn’t even judge me, he blesses me everyday. You could have as much faith as you want but work comes with it. I just cant sit here and pray to him every day and hope that he takes care of me, yes, you could put everything in his hands but you gotta work for what you want. 

Anthony: When did you learn this lesson? 

Alejandro: After my car accident, I was tired. It was in 2012, I was crossing the street and there was person trying to beat the red light and he ran me and friend over. I spent three months in the hospital. I didn’t have health insurance so I couldn’t go to physical therapy but I taught myself how to walk again. I forced myself to prove them wrong. They said that I was never gonna walk and look at me now – I’m shaking my ass for money. 

Alejandro, Orlando 

Interviewed by: Anthony Leon 

Photographed by: Louie A. Ortiz-Fonseca

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Anthony: Where in Philly did you grow up? Angel: I grew up all over the place. Originally I grew up in the Fairmount section. But then around 9 years old, my mom moved to the Northeast. So we lived near the Franklin mills mall for a while. Then I...

Anthony: Where in Philly did you grow up?

Angel: I grew up all over the place. Originally I grew up in the Fairmount section. But then around 9 years old, my mom moved to the Northeast. So we lived near the Franklin mills mall for a while. Then I lived in Orlando for three years between ‘04 and ‘07. Then in ‘07 I moved back to Philadelphia on my own because I kinda like hated it here. Things just weren’t working out for me. When I moved back to Philly, that is when I felt like I became an adult. I was on my own. I was doing my own thing. I finally got my own place. I felt independent. Philly is where I actually came “out”. Because for a while I was hiding who I was. I was ashamed, I was embarrassed. I didn’t want to be the way I am. Especially growing up in a church setting. So for a while I hated myself. I was just very depressed. But finally I decided to start accepting myself, when I finally realized that I am not going to change…that’s when I became my own person. That’s how I became who I am today. Yes, Philadelphia is home but it also has a special place in my heart because the community accepted me for who I am. I never felt that kind of acceptance before. So, yes Philadelphia isn’t perfect. There are issues within the community but at the same time, I am grateful for the people whom I met and the experiences that I had there because it’s molded me into what I have become today. So hopefully I am not terrible person. [LoL]

Anthony: How do you like here in Orlando the second time around?

Angel: Second time around, not so bad. I came to this city feeling very optimistic about the possibilities. I have a new attitude about what to expect when coming to Orlando. Because my first experience in Orlando wasn’t great, which is why I left. But I am a different person than I was in 2007. When I lived here I wasn’t “out”. I worked. I went home. I would play videos games and that was pretty much my life. So coming here this time around, I started off by making friends. There was one friend who I stayed in communication with, Jeff, who was with me that night at Pulse. So I reached out to him and we kinda picked up where things left off. So he showed me around downtown, took me to some clubs and introduced me to some of his friends. I was determined to enjoy the experience of living in Orlando this time around. I like Orlando. Even with everything that has happened. I like Orlando.

Anthony: I recently had a working lunch with someone from Melbourne, Australia and they showed me pictures of a massive vigil they had for Pulse. There were like 200,000 people there. How does that feel to get that kind of support from the world?

Angel: It’s amazing. On Facebook and Instagram, I have received messages from people from all over. People from Spain, Dubai, Australia, New Zealand, so it’s just incredible the amount of support that I have seen from around the world. Of course, within the United States, I have received messages from people from everywhere; the Midwest, the west coast, from home. You know, it’s been amazing. I’m hoping that with all the attention this event has caused, hopefully people will start to think about their actions, think about what is it that they say against the community, think about how they treat people within our community. Now people understand that we more visual now, people are more aware but it doesn’t change he fact that there are people who hate us for who we are and like that night, want to attack us for being who we are. So I am hopeful that with all the support out there will result in positive change.

Anthony: Do you regret moving to Orlando?

Angel: Believe it or not, no. Even after what happened, I don’t regret moving to Orlando. I am not one of those to say “Everything happens for a reason.” Because I don’t think everything happens for a reason. I do believe that some things happen for a reason. What happened at Pulse, I don’t necessarily think there was any good reason for that to happen, I really don’t. But the fact is that it did happen and as result, I am different person today than who I was on June 11th. So I have to try to make the best of my life going forward.

Angel Santiago Jr., Orlando

Interviewed by: Anthony Leon

Photographed by: Louie A. Ortiz-Fonseca

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It is my experience for many reasons to shut trauma out of my life. On June 12th, 49 people were murdered at Pulse Nightclub’s Latin Night, becoming America’s largest mass shooting in history. Many of the victims were Latino and gay. What had been a safe space was invaded and attacked. Many of the victims were Puerto Rican. They looked like me and my friend Vince. Naturally, I became angry and afraid. As I usually do, I subconsciously blocked those feelings and many more out of my mind. Shortly after, my best friend Louie said “let’s take a Gran Varón trip to Orlando.” I was hesitant yet ready.

We arrived on July 27th (day after my birthday). Over a period of three days we met up with several Varones that are part of the Orlando community. When asking questions for our interviews, I was present yet emotionally detached. Their stories of bravery, resiliency, and recovery were inspiring. Each story weighed heavily on me and yet I still couldn’t connect.

                                                                         Anthony interviewing Angel

That changed on our fourth day of the trip. The morning of July 30th we traveled to Kissimmee, Florida to meet up with Jorge. Louie had met Jorge online and shared with him that we were in the area capturing and archiving stories of Latino Gay men so that our narratives (as told by us) can be shared forever.  Jorge, who had been disconnected from the world, said that he indeed had a story and was ready to open up. We picked him up and what was originally supposed to be lunch turned into 24 hours. Because of our interview schedule we had to quickly leave Kissimmee after lunch and travel to Orlando to do a few interviews. We always meet people where there are at and on their time. We keep to it. Jorge was down to tag along.

                                                                             Anthony interview Miguel

Jorge watched as we met up with two different Varones and gathered their interviews. He kept silent but you could tell he was processing the stories being told. After our second interview that day, I invited him to come back to our place for dinner. Again, he was down. We traveled the 30 minutes it took to get to a supermarket near the place we were staying. In that time, Louie separated with another to chat with another Varón in his car and I was with Jorge and Sean in our rental. We laughed from the heart as we told jokes, we shared the music that gets us through our roughest times (Bonnie Raitt’s “I Can’t Make You Love Me”), and told each other stories of our families. I felt a developing connection with him, one that wasn’t connected to tragedy.

                                                                              Anthony interviewing Chris

After dinner, it was time to interview Jorge. He shared details of his background and of how he came to accept his identity. I then asked why he agreed to give up a Saturday and tag along with strangers trekking across Central Florida. That’s when he shared that he was with us because the universe kept him from going to his friend’s birthday party at Pulse that night. One of his friends, Rodolfo, did go to the party. Rodolfo Ayala-Ayala, 33, was one of the 49 victims of the Pulse Nightclub shooting. In that moment, I knew the story that would follow and I felt myself detaching. Jorge wouldn’t allow me to do that. He shared a joke to make me laugh and continued to share his friend’s story with courage I’ve never seen.

                                                                          Anthony interviewing Franqui

I was trying to hold space for him to share his story and instead he was holding space for me. His courage, his kindness, and his smile kept me present and in touch. Because of Jorge and the others we met in Florida, I was able to begin wrapping myself around the pain I’ve felt these last few months. The news won’t report on the strength of the survivors and those impacted. But all throughout the Orlando area, we met brave people that were pushing forward.

It tears at my mind and my heart that Jorge and I almost didn’t meet. The world tries every day to pin Latino Gay and Queer men from each other when it is through our love that we grow and thrive.

I am forever grateful for meeting Jorge and the other Varones.

- Anthony Leon

           Anthony & Jorge taking a selfie when they should have been eating

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so it has been a full week since we returned from our trip to Orlando. admittedly, we are still processing our experience but i will share some highlights.

during our time in Orlando we were able to forge a relationship with QLatinx. their hospitality not only provided healing but served as a foundation during our entire trip. many of the organizers hung out with us, invited us into their homes and into their lives. we were with familia during our entire time there and we are so grateful for our partnership.

one of the many highlights of our trip took place on Friday night. while dancing my ass off at Parliament House, i was introduced to franqui. even with the music blasting, we were able to engage in a conversation about our project. he stated that he once lived in philly and would be more than happy to share his story with us. so on Saturday afternoon, he invited us back to the club so we could interview and photograph him. chyle, when we walked up to the club, he was in a towel and said “yes, I am in towel and what!?” this when i knew his interview would be lit - and it was. his spirit was so welcoming and hsi attitude was so philly. he was yet another reminder of the resiliency and beauty that exists and continues to thrive in Orlando.

we interviewed a total of 8 varones while we were in Orlando. each and every story were both heartbreaking and inspiring. on our last night, we had an impromptu dinner at the house we were staying in. it was so last minute but each varòn pitched in to make it happen. the dinner provided an opportunity for varones to get to know each other and simply just be.

our work in not done. we will continue to work with Qlatinx and do whatever we can to be a part of the growing movement in Orlando. we will continue to share the stories of all varones who so courageously love, live and continue to dance after the pulse massacre.

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thank you to chris, miguel, jean, edwin, angel, jorge, joel and franqui for sharing your stories with us. we are beyond humbled, moved and inspired.
thank you to joshua from target and made us feel at home by just being your beautiful femme self. we look forward to hanging out with you at length the next time we in Orlando.

thank you to everyone who donated and did all that they could to make our trip possible. we invite everyone, varones and allies to support latinx queer and trans initiatives in your perspective cities. many of us are doing this work with very little resources and support is needed. if you are not sure what initiatives are happening in your city, inbox us and we will try to support you in connecting with organizers.

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yesterday, we shared time and space with a collective who were brought together after the pulse massacre. a group of latinx, boricuas and allies who with very little resources spend every saturday night strategizing ways to lift the voices of the queer Latinx community here in Orlando.

while driving to interview someone for the project earlier today , anthony said “if you would have told me three years ago that we would be doing gran varones work in orlando, i would not have believed you.” i agreed because i remember not being sure if people would even follow the project on instagram. but here we are - in an another city several states away doing our passion work in partnership QLatinx, a group of passionate latinx queer Orlando community members who meet every Saturday night to strategize ways to lift the voices and visibility of LGBTQ+ latinxs.

we invite you to check out QLatinx especially if you are in the Orlando area. there is so much power in projects that are built by the people for the people. we know this because our gran varones trip to Orlando would not have been possible without grassroots community support. like anthony, i had no way of imagining that when we created gran varones three years ago in my office that we would have the opportunity to meet, work, and build with so many magical warriors.

this work isn’t easy. this work will break your heart. but this work is necessary. it is in this work that healing is found and where possibility is created. and sometimes that is all we have to sustain ourselves until tomorrow.

- louie a. ortiz-fonseca

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he said “there are rainbows everywhere.” i looked around and saw that we were in fact surrounded by rainbows. the site of the bright colors is moving…at first but then you remember these rainbows are not because rain but because immense lost and pain.

i met at angel a few years back when gran varones was still an idea in development. he was one of the first varones i reached out to but the timing just wasn’t right. he asked to me reach out to him at a later time. i promised that i would.

a few weeks ago, i reached out to him. he moved to orlando last october and i was committed to keeping my promise. especially now.

yesterday, after landing in orlando, angel and i met for dinner. the connection was natural. the laughs flowed easily and freely. he told me about his new life in orlando and how he has been adapting. i listened and shared how much i try to avoid orlando because this is where my family lives. he laughed. i laughed.

he asked me “do you wanna go for a ride. i can show you downtown orlando.” i had time to pass before my GV team arrived in orlando so i said “let’s roll.” after about 15 minutes of driving and the car stopped and he looked over and said “pulse is around this corner. i want to go to the memorial. i haven’t been back there since that night. i feel like i can do it right now with someone as strong as you. will you go with me?” i immediately replied, “yes. of course.” i had two seconds to prepare my heart.

we walked over and were immediately greeted by a mother offering hugs. i gotta say, that hug sustained me because there were moments that my knees felt as if they would give way at any moment.

angel walked slowly and quietly. he began to tell me details of the people he knew and knew of. he told me about the varòn gamer and pointed to the game that a friend had left at the memorial by a picture. he talked and i listened. somehow his talking, his recounting of histories provided me a foundation in which to stand on so that i could stand with him.

angel, looking back less just than 24 hours later, i realized that i could not have made this visit to the pulse memorial without someone as strong as you. thank you for saying their names. thank you for sharing your survival with me. i love you.

- louie a. ortiz-fonseca

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Louie: Thanks for meeting with me Efrain: No thank you! I think it’s really cool that you’re allowing me to be a part of this project. I am glad that Felix connected us. Louie: So am I. Actually, Felix’s interview is one of the interviews that still...

Louie: Thanks for meeting with me

Efrain: No thank you! I think it’s really cool that you’re allowing me to be a part of this project. I am glad that Felix connected us.

Louie: So am I. Actually, Felix’s interview is one of the interviews that still moves me till this day and that was almost 2 years ago. So no pressure as I am about to interview you.

Efrain: None at all. [LoL]

Louie: So tell me, what did you grow up?

Efrain: I grew up in Chester, right outside of Philadelphia – by the airport. It was cool. All of my family lives out there and we were all pretty close. My father is Puerto Rican and moved to the states when he was 12. A s a kid, I loved being around that side of my family. I loved being surrounded by the culture and watching my aunt listen and dance to music while she cooked in the kitchen. It just felt like home. As far as my sexuality, I kept that to myself. I hid it – not out of shame because I was never ashamed of myself but I have a very nosy family. 

Louie: Who doesn’t? [LoL]

Efrain: Right. In my family, if you were male and didn’t say anything or make any noise when a pretty woman walked by, people had questions about you. If you didn’t like sports, people had questions about you. I didn’t like girls “that way” or sports, so questions were always there about me.. One day my cousin, being nosy as always, pulled me to the side and was like and asked me if I was gay. I answered honestly but she then started to tell other family members. So before it the information spread like wild fire, I told my parents. I felt I owed it to them to hear it from me and not anyone else.

Louie: When did you discover Philly’s Gayborhood?

Efrain: It had be like 1994. I was 16 – 17. I remember sneaking to Woody’s on young adult night. I would wait until my parents fell asleep before I left and I would leave my sneakers by the basement door and leave the door unlocked. I would return in time right before my father got up to go to work.  

Louie:  So what was that like for at age 16?

Efrain: It was good thing to see that guys were attracted to other guys. At that age, I knew that there were gay people out there but I didn’t know any at that time.  It also felt good to be in a space where you could go up to a guy and talk to him without feeling like you were going to get into a fight.

Louie: Do you remember your first Latin night at a gay club?

Efrain: It was also at Woody’s of course. It was cool because I would hear the same music that my aunt played in the kitchen.  All my friends were black and weren’t interested in going. So I jumped at the first opportunity to go. I wanted to check it out. It was cool to see other Latino gay guys too. But the interesting part that experience was how I was made to feel like I didn’t belong. Like I wasn’t “Latino” enough by the other Latino gay guys. I am not sure if it was because I didn’t look “Latino” enough or if it was because I didn’t grow up in their neighborhoods or whatever. I felt really uncomfortable and I thought it would be like home and it wasn’t. I would watch them greet each other like family and I felt excluded.

Louie: We Black Boricuas get that a lot.

Efrain: Yes, I would get asked “Oh you’re Puerto Rican, do you speak Spanish?” And when I would say no they would say “How are you Puerto Rican then if you cannot speak Spanish?” This still happened till this day. It is mainly why I stopped going to Latin night. I got tired of feeling out of place or feeling like I had to prove that that I was “Latino” enough. I love the music and I love dancing salsa but feeling out of place is not worth it – sometimes.

Louie: Do you think that could change after Pulse? How we all interact? How people make room for Black Puerto Ricans?

Efrain: I think so. I hope so. I have become friends with Ricky Melendez. He was one of the first people you interviewed.  I saw his video. He understood me and he knows what it is like and has embraced me and been really welcoming. I see people like yourself, this project and organizations like Galaei and I want to be more involved. I have fears that I will not be accepted but I want to be more involved.

Louie: Well listen, I am in Philly soon. When I am there, let’s take a visit to Galaei. You down?

Efrain: Yeah, I’m down.

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RECALLING ONE OF NORTH PHILLY’S FIRST LATINX QUEER NIGHTS

Louie: So how are you holding up?

Ricky: It’s been hard. I knew many people lost in the attack at Pulse. I knew them through my days as a club promoter. Ya know, when we go clubbing we go everywhere. That’s why I Travesura was important to me.

Louie: Yes, Travesura was lit! One of the first Latin Queer nights in North Philly. In a North Philly straight bar too!

Ricky: We had to. Latinos like you and me are able to go downtown and be in those other spaces. We had to learn that shit because how else would we have survived the 90’s. We old, gurl. (LOL) But seriously, I saw how they looked at other Latinos from North Philly. They looked at them with disgust because they didn’t “fit” in with the downtown culture. They didn’t want to interact act with them or even acknowledge them. That pissed me off.

Louie: Is that what inspired you to start Travesura?

Ricky: Well actually, it was started by DJ Chill Will and DJ Who? They started having Travesura nights at some bar in North Philly. After maybe like the first two events, they reached out to me to be the face of it. I had just moved back to Philly and was getting my life together but I agreed. I knew it would help build a stronger connection for and with the Latino gay community. I also wanted to be a part of a something that would accept all of us no matter how we presented or how we acted. And believe me, those nights at Travesura were lit as hell. People fought and argued. There was enough drama to go around but it brought Latinos from South Philly up to North Philly. And you saw Latino gays meeting other Latino gays for the first time. A lot of them are still friends. Soon we took the party to Delaware because just like Philly, there wasn’t a place for Latino gays there. It was like over 5 years ago since we stopped but I remember it like it was yesterday.

foto courtesy of Ricardo Melendez. Travesura Latino Queer Night in Philly

Louie: Do you think you will return to promoting Latin nights again?

Ricky: Yes. I actually just spoke to Lady LaBelle last week because she is trying to do Latin Nights with Drag Shows in North Philly. She wants to team up. Now it is even more important that we do this, ya know. We need it. There is a disconnect in our community now. Everyone just stays in North Philly and go to straight bars with their cousins. Or they have house parties. Yeah, we go to Woody’s on Thursdays for their Latin night but you won’t hear our music. It’s mainly English music. So me Lady LaBelle talked and decided to put aside our differences and try to make this work. She and I are both crazy but we are both dedicated to our community. So I will keep you updated.

foto courtesy of Ricardo Melendez. Travesura Latino Queer Night in Philly

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“untitled”

The floors have been painted,
But it was not by choice
This room was not in need of renovation
This room was filled with innovation
Masterpiece after masterpiece
What an exhibition of artistry
Yet hate brought his concept of interior design
And with it he painted the dance floor red
With his bullets
He destroyed priceless works of arts
Oh beautiful earthen vessels shattered in pieces
Hidden treasures
The world had yet to behold you
In all your splendor
Rumbling in the distance
Are the sounds of the steps of many
Which took the road less traveled
So that we could enjoy our liberty.
WE are not sick nor diseased
WE are strength, WE are bold
Damn it, WE own everything

Written by: Efrain Gomez, Philadelphia

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Louie: Thanks for taking the time to meet with me today. I think this our first time ever chatting in person.

Jay: Is it?

Louie: Yes. I remember seeing you at Shampoo Night Club but we never really talked.

Jay: Oh I remember those days. Too bad they closed it, right?

Louie: Yes. I used to get my dance on in that damn velvet room. So where in Philly did you grow up?

Jay: I grew up in northern liberties neighborhood which back then it didn’t have that name.

Louie: Yes! I grew up around there too before all the Ricans were pushed out.

Jay: My upbringing was awesome I experienced how a Latino American can enjoy living in the early 80’s enjoying the culture and music both in Spanish and English. I was the oldest in my family and I wanted to become someone that didn’t exist in my family. I didn’t want to become another gay male Hispanic in the “system”, like some who come over to just live out of the government. My view of being in the United States was to fight and strive for opportunities that some of my family members didn’t have.

Louie: When did you come “out”?

Jay: I came out late when I was 27years old. It wasn’t a bad thing.  My family had wanted me to come out but I was not ready. I was battling with my beliefs and the person who I was.

Louie: What is one thing you regret?

Jay: The one thing I regret doing is leaving my old job at the Public Defenders Association. I have to say it was the best job and a blessing for me.

Louie: Ya know, Mariah left Columbia for Virgin records because of the money. “Glitter” flopped and she was released from her contract. She has since said that was the first and last time she made a decision based on money. I think of that whenever I am being tempted to leave a job just for money.

Jay: I know its scary now to me because of what happened to me. Once I left, I everything went wrong and I lasted a year. I was fired for the first time in my life! The day I was fired, I left the building and rain fell on me. It was like a movie. So I headed to the bar at Woody’s to get drunk. [LMAO]

Louie: What is one thing you don’t regret?

Jay: I don’t regret being honest and blunt about things. I was told to keep my mouth shut when I was growing up. Not anymore.

Jay Ruiz, Philadelphia

Interviewed and Photographed by: Louie A. Ortiz-Fonseca

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Edgard: So Ricky was just talking about your project to me and my partner.

Louie: Wow! Really?

Ricardo Melendez​ [not pictured]: Yes honey! I was telling him that he needs to be a part of it.

Louie: Yes, you should. Like right now!

Edgard: Right now?

Louie: Yes, I carry my camera around just for moments like this.

Edgard: Ok.

Louie: Cool. Quote?

Edgard: People have said  that we have the double whammy as gay Puerto Ricans.  We say it’s not a whammy but a double blessing. Being gay and Boricua has given us the resiliency to deal with any other trials life and ignorance throws our way. We stay strong.

Louie: Awesome.

Edgard: Too long? Not enough?

Louie: It’s perfect. Thank you!

Edgard: Let us if there is anything we can do to support the project.

Louie: Will do.

Edgard (right) and his partner Rickii (left), Delaware

Interviewed and Photographed by: Louie A. Ortiz-Fonseca

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Louie: Finally chyle! Took you forever to do this?

Jonathan: I know. I have been so busy.

Louie: Yes, I know. I see you doing thangs. I am so, so proud of you.

Jonathan: Thank you.

Louie: So let’s get started. Where did you grow up?

Jonathan: I was born in NYC and when my mom split with my dad, we moved here with my step-father. I grew up in North Philly. It was challenging knowing at a young age that you were gay. I knew when I was 5. So i I used to get picked on about my weight, the way I talked, the way I walked, any little thing. All the way from elementary school to high school, were challenging years. I faced a lot of different things.

Louie: How did you know at age 5 you were gay?

Jonathan: I just had a feeling inside. I used to always hang out with the girls. I never had a connection with the boys. I used to try and force myself to play sports and try to be “macho” but I knew deep down inside, that wasn’t me. And when I was acting like somebody else, I didn’t feel like myself. It’s challenging at age 5 to think that about yourself when you don’t even know yourself. Ya know, growing up in this crazy world, we are “supposed” to act a certain way and your parents are telling you, “Stand up straight.” “Walk right!” “Stop sayin’ it like that.” You get structured to be this alpha male and you know deep down inside that’s not who you are. I had those moments when I used to battle myself about who i am and who i wanted to be.

Louie: Have you found an answer?

Jonathan: My junior year of high school. I developed a circle of friends that were very tight-knit and they introduced me to the gay scene was I was 18. Before that it was foreign. I didn’t know what it was like, what a gay club was like. At first, it was very uncomfortable seeing guys dance together or touch each other in certain ways. I never knew what that felt. I had visions in my head but I never saw it live in the flesh. So I said (to myself), “Let me develop more comfortability around this because this is the kind of environment i want to be in.”

Louie: How is Jonathan today different from that young Jonathan?

Jonathan: Wow, great questions. Jonathan now is a lot more mature and really starting to come into his own. Back then, I was lost and very insecure. I had a lot of issues around trying to define who I was really was, what kind of man I wanted to be. How do I fit into this world? What do I bring to the table? I still struggle with certain aspects of that currently but it is not as heavy as before. I was so scared because coming out as gay, I didn’t know who to turn to. I had so many questions like how do I moved forward in life as a gay man? Now, i am so comfortable with it, I am so open with it. I am very proud to be gay.

Jonathan, Philadelphia

Interviewed and Photographed by: Louie A. Ortiz-Fonseca

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