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OUR TONGUES ARE UNTIED

for years, black and latino gay men and men who have sex with men have been ringing the alarm on how HIV has been ravaging our communities. we have consistently been asked “where are the statistics? where are the numbers? where is the proof?” of course, our lives and experiences were never enough. we needed a government study to tell us what we already know. yesterday the proof arrived. are we surprised? fuck no! but that does not take the sting away.

according to a new CDC study, 1 in 2 black gay men and 1 in 4 latino gay men will become HIV-positive if the current rate of infection continues. this shit means that black and latino gay men are more likely to contract HIV than white gay men. but again, we have already known this – for years!

since the release of this report, there been a few articles shining light on this and rightfully so. unfortunately,  most have them failed to include the voice and perspective of latino gay men. this cannot continue. just because an advocate says “gay men of color” does not give them permission to speak for us – we have our own god damn voice. to prove this fact, here are the responses of latino gay/queer* men to the CDC report. our tongues are untied.

“The thing that pisses me off is that I never get to read that study. Broad public health initiatives obviously help for reasons that, I bet, are less obvious. But here’s the kicker: whatever the result of *that* study, we can act on that information. What the hell am I supposed to do with the information that one in four gay Latinos are going to contract HIV? Stop being gay? Stop being Latino?”

Eddie Santiago Beck – Miami, Florida


“But yet people are getting black/brown $$$$’s to serve our community and all we see is increases in their salaries. I need federal and state funders to get up and pay attention. You can’t give money to an all white organization and expect them to step out their comfort zone (the office) and enter the ‘hood to talk to black/brown lives and hope they understand. Organizations can’t plaster white faces on programs that are meant to serve black/brown lives and hope they can get through to them. What does it look like a white individual walking through heart of North and West Philly and there first words are “HIV TEST.” My apologies, some people will never understand the culture differences. Start putting them millions of dollars back into the community and begin to build relationships within the community. I was taught that you never go to a gathering empty handed. There are bigger issues than an HIV test, like shelter, food, clothing and so much more.”

Luis Berrios, Philadelphia


“Like, “look! We’ve discovered this disparity! Just giving you a heads up!” But are they gonna fund programs specific to us?  Lead by us?  Designed by us?  With faces that look like us so our general public will give a fuck? Wtf is actually going on though? Are we surprised? We’ve been telling people, usually white, that we’ve been in danger. This is fucking staggering. Half y’all, HALF, of black “MSM” projected to be diagnosed in their life time. And A WHOLE ENTIRE QUARTER of Latinos. I’m left to wonder where our Afro-Latino family falls.”

Ayden Castellanos - Rio Grande Valley, Texas


“Each community has a unique experience and we need to engaged in those communities and those disproportionately impacted by HIV. 1 out of 4 Latino gay men will be diagnosis with HIV in their lifetime. We need to assure inclusion at all levels with engagement strategies tailored to those unique needs and the reality we face as Latino gay men living in America.”

Richard LaBoy – Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 


“The CDC is always making vast statistics about black and Latino men. But what pisses me off more is that they don’t fuckin aid in the fight to end the rising numbers. How many proposals, or research projects does the CDC need to show that we aren’t receiving the same amount of care and attention that is needed? Why is the CDC and AACO funding these organizations that aren’t doing a damn thing for us until it is too late? Why are we celebrating the accomplishments of individuals who have stated they won’t go into North Philly or test Latinos because of a simple solution to a language barrier problem? It’s fuckin ridiculous! Most researched never have never stepped into the ‘hood. They never do the ground work but they can sit in their offices creating statistics.”

Xander Lopez, – Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 


“Someone posted the picture of the CDC Report on Instagram and he asked for thoughts and a lot of people gave heated and emotional responses. Well, one guy put a great comment that sticks in my mind when I hear these statistics. He said something to the affect about how we should not just get pissed at the connotations in the statistics but use it as a driving forces to create a better society for ourselves. One in which we feel free to discuss openly about HIV with our partners, family, and communities without fear and stigma because that in the end will bring those rates down. That stays with me.”

Anthony Leon – Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 


“These statistics DO NOT mean that we have failed ourselves. These statistics mean that the system and prevention services have FAILED us. We Latino and Afro-Latino gay men are NOT “hard to reach.” We are reaching out to each other, building community and providing whatever support needed to sustain ourselves - and with very little and limited resources.”

Louie A. Ortiz-Fonseca, Washington, DC

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Dear white Professor in my class,
I decided to send you an email to express something that has been in my head for a couple of days. I must say that I doubted whether I should address this with you and I tried to ignore it, why? Well, first, because it is always difficult to address this issue and second because I did not want to accept that I am a target of oppression.
Since the first time we met, I realized, you have confused me with the other person of color in class. At first, I thought that it would be a very normal thing to do since having new class represents meeting new people. Learning new names is always a challenge. As the classes continued I have seen you articulating my clasemates’ names. It seemed that you have been able to connect a name with each of their faces. Then, I saw you using my name to ask the other person of color to read in class. It has happened more then twice already. I asked myself: “Why is it that my professor is able to learn the names of all the other students but not the name of the two of us?“
I must say that my mind started to work harder to understand this but maybe I just did not want to see it in the beginning. I have heard many stories of people of color who have experienced the same dynamic with their names in different contexts. It seems that these interactions happens when the majority of people that they work or go to school with are white. It seems that for white teachers, classmates or co-workers it is hard to learn the names of people of color they have around. As we know, there is a history in USA that normalized European and Anglicized names and pathologized non-white names.
There is so much evidence that shows the negative effects that people of color struggle with in society, such as discrimination and violence in school, work and neighborhoods. Mistaking the names of people of color displays a microaggression that assumes that all people of color look the same and we do not deserve an individual identity.
People of color’s name are important because there is always a story that unveils our family traditions, identity, culture, etc. Our names are connected to our stories, stories that were stolen from us from slavery or colonization. This is how trans-generational trauma is inherited and reinforced by people who benefit from whiteness.
My intention behind this email is to resist. I refuse to accept this oppression, I refuse to sit and let other generations normalize this behavior. I resist whiteness and all those who benefit from it. I resist being located in a space where my identities are condemned to be invisible. I resist accepting that I need to educate highly educated and privilege people.
I refuse to not hear my name; I am committed to naming a racist behavior or a micro aggression. I deserve to have individual humanity. 
I decide to name the racist behavior. I decide to name what it is hard to name. I decide to name what nobody else wants to name. I resist in the hopes that this behavior will not continue into the next generation.
I am a Mexican American, Latino, gay, queer, bilingual, immigrant, man of color, social worker, citizen, and human being who claims his individuality and loves being connected to different communities that empower me.
I believe apologies are important, but I do not need one because at the end actions are stronger than words. I have received many apologies from white people about their microaggressions, but even if the intentions were good, it seems that the main goal was just get rid of white guilt. I cannot do that, not because I think they do not deserve forgiveness but because the risk to engage in an endless vicious circle is strong. I believe privilege makes people insensitive; exposing them to this pain is constructive for both sides. Here is the point where white allies are born.
And me, I am not upset anymore. I am interested in finding my own healing.
Sinceramente,
Luis Ramirez
Luis is a therapist, advocate, singer and varòn from Philadelphia.

Dear white Professor in my class,

I decided to send you an email to express something that has been in my head for a couple of days. I must say that I doubted whether I should address this with you and I tried to ignore it, why? Well, first, because it is always difficult to address this issue and second because I did not want to accept that I am a target of oppression.

Since the first time we met, I realized, you have confused me with the other person of color in class. At first, I thought that it would be a very normal thing to do since having new class represents meeting new people. Learning new names is always a challenge. As the classes continued I have seen you articulating my clasemates’ names. It seemed that you have been able to connect a name with each of their faces. Then, I saw you using my name to ask the other person of color to read in class. It has happened more then twice already. I asked myself: “Why is it that my professor is able to learn the names of all the other students but not the name of the two of us?“

I must say that my mind started to work harder to understand this but maybe I just did not want to see it in the beginning. I have heard many stories of people of color who have experienced the same dynamic with their names in different contexts. It seems that these interactions happens when the majority of people that they work or go to school with are white. It seems that for white teachers, classmates or co-workers it is hard to learn the names of people of color they have around. As we know, there is a history in USA that normalized European and Anglicized names and pathologized non-white names.

There is so much evidence that shows the negative effects that people of color struggle with in society, such as discrimination and violence in school, work and neighborhoods. Mistaking the names of people of color displays a microaggression that assumes that all people of color look the same and we do not deserve an individual identity.

People of color’s name are important because there is always a story that unveils our family traditions, identity, culture, etc. Our names are connected to our stories, stories that were stolen from us from slavery or colonization. This is how trans-generational trauma is inherited and reinforced by people who benefit from whiteness.

My intention behind this email is to resist. I refuse to accept this oppression, I refuse to sit and let other generations normalize this behavior. I resist whiteness and all those who benefit from it. I resist being located in a space where my identities are condemned to be invisible. I resist accepting that I need to educate highly educated and privilege people.
I refuse to not hear my name; I am committed to naming a racist behavior or a micro aggression. I deserve to have individual humanity.
I decide to name the racist behavior. I decide to name what it is hard to name. I decide to name what nobody else wants to name. I resist in the hopes that this behavior will not continue into the next generation.

I am a Mexican American, Latino, gay, queer, bilingual, immigrant, man of color, social worker, citizen, and human being who claims his individuality and loves being connected to different communities that empower me.
I believe apologies are important, but I do not need one because at the end actions are stronger than words. I have received many apologies from white people about their microaggressions, but even if the intentions were good, it seems that the main goal was just get rid of white guilt. I cannot do that, not because I think they do not deserve forgiveness but because the risk to engage in an endless vicious circle is strong. I believe privilege makes people insensitive; exposing them to this pain is constructive for both sides. Here is the point where white allies are born.

And me, I am not upset anymore. I am interested in finding my own healing.

Sinceramente,
Luis Ramirez

Luis is a therapist, advocate, singer and varòn from Philadelphia.

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GV: Tell us about you
Roger: My name is Roger and I grew up in Pasadena, California. I am Mexicano and I have lived in Philadelphia for 7 years. The experience here is very different from LA in terms of integration. I feel like there were a lot more out and open Latino gay men in LA than they are in Philadelphia.  But I found it’s been a good experience being able to integrate into different cultures and atmospheres.
GV: Do you think there is a Gay Latino Community in Philly?
Roger: I think it’s integrated into other cultures but I don’t think there is a solid Gay Latino community the way it is in other parts of the country.
GV: Are you drunk?
Roger: A little bit. :)

GV: Tell us about you

Roger: My name is Roger and I grew up in Pasadena, California. I am Mexicano and I have lived in Philadelphia for 7 years. The experience here is very different from LA in terms of integration. I feel like there were a lot more out and open Latino gay men in LA than they are in Philadelphia.  But I found it’s been a good experience being able to integrate into different cultures and atmospheres.

GV: Do you think there is a Gay Latino Community in Philly?

Roger: I think it’s integrated into other cultures but I don’t think there is a solid Gay Latino community the way it is in other parts of the country.

GV: Are you drunk?

Roger: A little bit. :)

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“I grew up in Paradise Texas, outside of Dallas/Fortworth. I’ve been living Philadelphia, Center City for about two years now. Being a gay Latino man in Philly is a lot different from being a gay Latino man in Texas. I think it’s the… same for a lot of major cities in the Northeast. We live in this bubble, things are pretty great for us and we take a lot of those things for granted like being able to hold your partner’s hand in the street, the protections we’re given in a lot of places in the Northeast., Wherein Texas, a lot of those comforts aren’t available.“ - Danny Hernandez
“I grew up in Paradise Texas, outside of Dallas/Fortworth. I’ve been living Philadelphia, Center City for about two years now. Being a gay Latino man in Philly is a lot different from being a gay Latino man in Texas. I think it’s the same for a lot of major cities in the Northeast. We live in this bubble, things are pretty great for us and we take a lot of those things for granted like being able to hold your partner’s hand in the street, the protections we’re given in a lot of places in the Northeast., Wherein Texas, a lot of those comforts aren’t available.“ - Danny Hernandez
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“I believe religion sometimes effects the way people think, especially if they’re very devoted to their religion. it can have a strong influence in people, they put these ideas in people’s head and from there it makes it even harder for us as a gay community to come out and try to make our families understand who we are.” 
- Carlos

“I believe religion sometimes effects the way people think, especially if they’re very devoted to their religion. it can have a strong influence in people, they put these ideas in people’s head and from there it makes it even harder for us as a gay community to come out and try to make our families understand who we are.”

- Carlos

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