The Gran Varones is a legacy project that uses video and photography to tell the stories of Latino & Afro-Latino Gay, Queer and Trans men. Our stories shine light on what being “out” and “proud” means to us, our families, and our communities.
“When I think of my mom, I think of her big smile. I was adopted by my aunt but i know I have my mother’s spirit with me. She passed when I was about 8 years old from HIV/AIDS. I took it really hard. I don’t know, it’s like when they first tell you, I really didn’t comprehend it until about a couple of hours later and my brain just snapped. And I felt like everything was just done. Being 8 years old and only knowing your mother and not your father, only knowing certain people in your family and the only thing you’re left with is people that you’re not really that close to.
I think my mother would actually be proud of the fact that I can be who i am by myself. Like, I didn’t need anyone there by my side. I have always been there for myself. So I think she would be really proud that I can do this on my own. I don’t need anybody on my shoulder telling me "you can do this.” because she is there telling me every day that I walk, “You can take the next step.” Ya know, I was born myself and I don’t need anybody to be there to help me.
I just wish she could be here. It’s hard. It’s hard just being here without her. But it makes me smile to know she would be proud of me and proud that I did it.“
Giovanni Martinez-Cruz, Philadelphia
Interviewed by Anthony Leon & Photographed by: Louie A. Ortiz-Fonseca
Anthony: So you spent the day with us as we interviewed a few varones so you know that we start with your name and a little about your self.
Jorge: My name is Jorge Andujar. My family is originally from Puerto Rico but I was born and raised in Buffalo New York and I currently live in Kissimmee, Florida. It’s south of Orlando and I have lived here for almost 2 years.
I came out when I was 19. At the time I was working in Kailua-Kona, Hawaii and I was working for a Norwegian cruise line. I was seeing someone at the time. I was in love. It was, as you can say, my first relationship and I wanted to stay and didn’t want to come back home. I think drinking, being in that state of mind, being young and so in love made me get the courage to let my family know that I was gay. But they always knew. They accepted it. They were just waiting for me to come forward. The baggage was unnecessary for me to carry but I carried because I was afraid of being rejected. That’s why I took the job on the cruise line. I went far away as possible so I wouldn’t feel rejected. But that wasn’t the case because I wasn’t rejected. They welcomed me with open arms. I feel not everyone can say that. I have heard stories of people whose families have not been open with them. One of my good friends who was killed in the Pulse attack, his family was not very welcoming at all. So I can see how so many people feel alone when it comes to coming out. I have to say that I have been very blessed in that aspect. I am not afraid anymore.
Anthony: Tell us about Pulse.
Jorge: I have been to Pulse many times. People weren’t afraid to go to Pulse. Pulse was not known as a dangerous place at all. Pulse was very inviting, had different environments. You didn’t have to watch the drag show if you didn’t want to even though their drag shows were very entertaining. There was an “urban” room as some would call it where they would play Hip-Hop & R&B type of music. You would have the Latino side and the English and then there was patio where there was another bar. It was just a variety. People went there to be themselves. People didn’t go there to start “stuff.” This was a place where a lot of people went to seek comfort. It was the only place besides the other gay bars where people went to be themselves without worrying about who’s watching and who you’re hiding from. Right now, people are going through not being accepted by their loved ones or by the community so this was a place to be yourself and dance all night. This is what brought people together every Saturday night, every Latin night.
Anthony: You mentioned your friend. Who was he?
Jorge: His name was Rodolfo and he was 33 years old. He was there celebrating a birthday that night and he was killed along with other friends. He was transferred to Puerto Rico. He was laid to rest in San Germán. He didn’t have family here. His friends here were his family. His family at home weren’t very accepting. Going back to the funeral – it’s kinda ironic because – most of the people were very old school and everyone was wearing t-shirts with his photo and a big rainbow going across. They didn’t realize that it was symbol of gay pride. They were talking about what happened and not being very accepting but yet they were wearing a rainbow on their shirt. It was a wake-up call like “people still don’t get it.”
Anthony: How are you holding up?
Jorge: I am at the point now where I am starting to open up to people, talk to people, start over and get to know people. I see people trying to come together as one and put their differences aside. Because this isn’t about who likes who, who doesn’t like who – this is about coming together as one. This is not about team white, team Black or team Latino – this is about team humanity.
Jorge Andujar, Orlando
Interviewed by: Anthony Leon Photographed by: Louie A. Ortiz-Fonseca
Backstory: We met Jorge online and he invited us out for lunch. The connection was instant and he wound up tagging along as we drove around Orlando interviewing and meeting up with folks. He shared his story with us during the long ride and agreed to being interviewed on camera after witnessing the process for an entire day.
salute to everyone on mass transit during rush hour who pull out
their phones to take a selfie! mad love to everyone who snap their
beautiful faces while walking down the street, sitting at your desks at
work, laying up in the emergency room, posing on your bed or flexin’ at
the damn club. there ain’t no shame in feeling yourself in a world that
attempts to trick you into hiding from yourself. don’t let anyone shame
you because your phone is filled with pictures of your lovely face.
celebrate that shit!
happy friday, varones! be beautiful and capture it in a selfie!
Louie: I love that call me abuela and have my number saved in your phone with the grand mom emoji. LOL
Vince: Bendición LOL
Louie: Let’s talk about high school. Were you “out” then?
Vince: High School was actually great. I was always the kid everyone was cool with and I always respected everyone as long as they respected me. Unfortunately, during high school, I wasn’t “out” even though everyone and their mom and their grand mom knew my ass was gay. I never felt comfortable enough to come “out” even though I surrounded myself with great people, who until this day are still my great friends. But having a Pentecostal mother, I was always afraid to tell her. I’m a mama’s boy at heart and it would have been devastating if I came out to her and she didn’t accept me. I lost my dad when I was 13 and so my mother was all I had. I also had four older intimidating as fuck brothers, whom I love by the way. LOL
Louie: So you’re hella gay ass was not out in high school? LOL
Vince: But I finally came to my mom when I was like 21. I literally waited for her to ask me and she eventually did. I went to New York with my gay cousin and she knew so that triggered her to ask . She calls mind you while I’m shopping at Forever 21 (LOL) and she told me “when you get home we need to talk.” I was like, “Yes finally!” because I didn’t have the balls to tell her. So I when home, she sat my ass on the table and was like “Tu tiene algo que decirme,” which translates “Do you have something to tell me?” I replied, “What do you want to know?” We went back and forth, I swear for like a minute when I caved in and said “If you what to know if your son is gay - yes he is.” Here come the waterworks - she start crying and I start crying, very dramatic. (LOL) She tells me, “Well, you’re my son and I always love you but I can’t accept you because of my religion. I cried like a baby when she left the dining room. I was on the couch crying thinking that my mom doesn’t love me when my sister came down and hugged me. She said “Don’t worry Vince, this is something mom’s going to have to deal with. You’re an amazing person and you do nothing but good for her. She will get over it.” She made me feel so much better. My mom and I didn’t really talk for like two weeks until she came and hugged me and ask me for 20 dollars. After that it was like everything was back to normal. LOL
Louie: So you really helped to inspire my being positive. What inspired your attitude about body positivity?
Vince: When I was young, I was always the fat chubby kid ! Growing up, I did get slightly bullied. I say “slightly” because every time someone tried it, I was like “I’ll get one of my cousin or brothers to handle my battles!” LOL But I was the “fat” kid, who had the worst over bite in the world. Praise God and the miracle of braces! Dios gracias! LOL Puberty hit, the braces came off and I had a beard and a job while I was high school. I could finally buy what I wanted. I was still the “chubby” kid but I was now the “chubby” kid who dressed cute. But to not make it a whole long as story! Of course everyone has their insecurities but I’ve learned on my own that you have to love yourself with every flaw and “chichos” (love handles) you have! Find any moment to be who are and stay humble - keyword “humble.” No one likes someone who thinks their superior to everyone else!
Louie: You’re Colombian, right? What was like growing up in a city that predominately Puerto Rican? Be careful how you answer – I am Puerto Rican. LOL
Vince: Yeah, I’m full Colombian but my father that raised me isn’t – he was Puerto Rican. So, actually growing up with Puerto Ricans was awesome. I even speak like Rican! LOL Their crazy and loud but have always there for me even knowing that I wasn’t really my dad’s son. No one ever told me until I was 14, after he passed. I always had a feeling that he wasn’t but I always believed that your father is the man who raises you! Biological or not.
Louie: Do you know any other gay Colombians?
Vince: No. I don’t know any. If you know any let me know. LOL
Vince Cintron, Philadelphia
Interviewed & Photographed by: Louie A. Ortiz-Fonseca
Juan: Yes! Thanks Mom and Dad. I am 42 and still going strong.
Louie: How are you different at 42 than when you were 22?
Juan: I’m not so much in a rush. Family is my main goal and enjoying our time together. I also am into photography. I love taking pictures all around Philadelphia.
Louie: What is the greatest lesson you have learned and how did you learn it.
Juan: Believe in love and I found that out through heartbreak.
Louie: You’re a twin, right? How are y'all different?
Juan: He’s smarter and more analytical. I’m more social and kinder…maybe even a little more naive.
Louie: You’re the cuter one?
Juan: No comment! LOL
Juan Carlos Ortiz, Philadelphia
Interviewed & Photographed by: Louie A. Ortiz-Fonseca
Fernando: Thirteen years ago today, I moved from Chicago to Philadelphia with not much more than could fit into a small SUV and with no real idea of what the future would hold. In that time I’ve become a far different person and have found a new home with an amazing career, made some great art, made some amazing friends. I’m a fortunate man.
Louie: Why Philly? Why move here from Chicago?
Fernando: Moved here for love. A hopeless romantic and found that the city was the true love of my life.
Fernando Gonzalez, Philadelphia Interviewed & Photographed by: Louie A. Ortiz-Fonseca
Latinos are the largest and fastest-growing ethnic group in the United
States. We also are one of the groups most heavily impacted by HIV.
According to CDC, we account for 21% of
all new HIV infections in the United States. Gay and bisexual men bear
the greatest burden of HIV infection in our communities. In some major
cities, studies found that nearly 1 in 5 Latino gay and bisexual men are
infected with HIV.
So on this day, we are celebrating a few unsung varones who are working everyday to end stigma in our communities. We also send our deepest gratitude to all of you who are having conversations about HIV and working everyday to eliminate stigma and
reinforce this beautiful truth: WE ARE THE CURE!
MARCO BENJAMIN foto by: Jesus Rodriguez of LuzAzulStudios
“Today is World AIDS day. I firmly believe in my life time we will see an HIV free generation and always remember that together and only together we will win the war on HIV/AIDS.” Marco does not just speak this beautiful talk but he walks this warrior walk.
A nationally renowned speaker and advocate, Marco works with Latino communities all the over country to develop cultural relative HIV prevention and treatment programs. Diagnosed in 2008, he immediately called his mother and said “Mami, I’m going to ruin your day.” She reacted by saying, “I thought you were going to tell me you were in jail. ‘Mi'jo, you are not the first and you are not going to be the last (to have HIV), Then she made sure I went off to the doctor to see about treatment.“ She also does her part in educating the community. Marco’s approach to HIV prevention and advocacy is a reminder that the fight to end HIV stigma requires love and familia.
Marco currently works with the AIDS Healthcare Foundation of New Jersey.
RICARDO “RICKY” MELENDEZ
Ricardo is what North Philly Legends are made of. In the 90s, he was
one of the very few Latinos dominating the ballroom scene in
Philadelphia. He used that notoriety to create spaces for LGBT Latinos
by organizing LGBT events in the heart of North Philly. "Not everyone
wanted or could go to the gayborhood. So I wanted to create events in
our neighborhood.” He would go on to create the now legendary Travesuda
Nights.
“I
tested positive on this day 20 years ago. I remember feeling scared and
alone. It was a trans Latina friend of mine who held me together. Now
it is my mission in life to do that for other varones who have just been
diagnosed. Our stories and existence alone ends HIV stigma. We have power chyle!”
On Friday, December 4th, Ricky will be hosting an event commemorating World AIDS Day. Click here for more info.
ADRIAN CASTELLANOS
Adrian aka Ayden is a twenty-three year old HIV and AIDS advocate/activist from Texas, Rio Grande Valley who utilizes social media to deconstruct stigma and engage with as many people as possible.
At twenty one, Castellanos’ path was redirected as he was diagnosed with AIDS, while he spent two weeks in a hospital room, he decided to “make his mess his message”. Since being diagnosed on March 26, 2014 he has gone on to receive a Youth Initiative Scholarship to attend USCA in OCT. 2014, acquire a position with the Valley AIDS Council (the only HIV/AIDS Agency in his area) JAN. 2015, receive a separate scholarship to attend AIDSWatch in APR. 2015 and receive a Social Media Fellows Scholarship to USCA 2015. Adrian now spends his time doing free HIV screenings at two universities in his area and for the community with his agency. He also participates in outreach and education efforts to raise awareness within his community.
“AIDS is still a very real thing. I want you to remember that. Queer
Latinx people often pass away withing the first year of diagnoses
because we waited too long before getting tested. Because homphobia
won’t allow us to talk about our sex. Because transphobia makes us
targets of systemic and interpersonal violence. Because racism puts us
at a level of disadvantage that prevents us from seeking medical
attention”
Read his inspiring World AIDS Day article here.
Jorian Alexi Veintidos
At just 23, Jorian Alexi Veintidos has already begun creating a huge shift in the way that HIV is seen and talked about in Latino communities in Philadelphia. He recently shared his story with Gran Varones and it became our most shared and viewed profile. He courage to speak openly about living with HIV has opened the much needed conversation among varones. “By sharing my story as a young person living and thriving with HIV, I want to be a model of positivity that while my journey was has not been easy journey it also has not been impossible.”
Jorian was recently selected by Advocates for Youth after a national search to be a Youth Ambassador for National Youth AIDS Awareness Day.
ANTHONY LEON
Anthony moved to Philadelphia in 2013 and immediately began working and mentoring Latino and Black gay and trans* youth. For two years he served as coordinator of Mazzoni Center’s #A1PHA Project, one of Philadelphia’s only prevention project that intentionally and culturally works with young Latino gay men.
Anthony is also the co-creator of the Gran Varones Project and has leveraged that role to unapologetically advocate varones who continue to be marginalized by racism, poverty, homophobia and HIV Stigma. “Because Gran Varones, people disclose to me and reach out for support in navigating care and treatment services.”
Anthony is one the most sex and body positive people we know. approach to ending stigma is essential as we all deserve to feel sexy, fuck, get fucked, make love and have a healthy sex life regardless of our HIV status and body size.
Anthony is currently Youth Education Manager at Mazzoni Center where in addition to overseeing the #A1PHA Project, he manages their Ally Safe Schools Project.
RICHARD “RICHIE” LABOY
Richie has worked for various non-profit organizations since 2002. He has worked deeply with the Ballroom Community in Philadelphia on many social and sexual health issues including; homelessness, HIV/AIDS awareness, mental health treatment, substance abuse rehabilitation, fighting poverty and HIV stigma. He is legendary on both and off of the runway!
“I grew up in the Ballroom community. It was my family and I watched as HIV took many of them away from me. It fuels my passion. I owe it to my community to make sure that they are reached – with dignity and affirmation.”
Deemed legendary in 2009, Richard continues to be make in the impact in the ballroom scene as part of the House of Miyake-Mugler. He is also working as a Clinical Research Assistant at the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia where he works on a research project to determine if a culturally-tailored health promotion intervention will reduce health risk behaviors of young men who have sex with men within the Ballroom community in Philadelphia.
“Growing up in Philly was interesting to say the least. I had many
friends but kept my sexual preference a secret until later in life. Now
looking back at it, I wish I would have been more open with myself and
those around me but everything happens for a reason. I grew up in Mount
Airy, so I was blessed to grow up around some pretty decent individuals
who taught me how to be a diverse individual. Keeping my friends diverse
and opening myself to new things is what guided me through
life growing up. I moved to California in 2012. It wasn’t something
that was planned or it wasn’t something I was prepared for. I simply
woke up, said to myself "I need a change.” I quit my job, flew to
California the next day, checked into a motel, and stayed there for a
week until I found an apartment and signed the lease. The whole process
from idea to execution took about three weeks. It was one of the most
daring, spontaneous things I ever done and I loved every minute of it. I
eventually decided to move back for family reasons but what I miss most
about California is the people. Everyone is so open and honest, and
raw, and passionate, and it was refreshing and such a change that I was
not used to.” - Michael Thompson
“faggot”, he said as he walks past me. he followed up with, “he’s just so gay.” then he was gone.
i looked back with my mouth hanging open in utter disbelief. I was
walking in the LGBT neighborhood of philly (the part we lovingly call
“gayborhood”).
this was a few weeks ago and it was easy to brush
off when it happened. However as i’ve had more time to think about it i
can’t shake it. i’ve come to the conclusion that i should not just
“shake it off”.
it’s okay to be
angry. i feel right to be angry and i believe i would be doing myself
and all of my comrades in the struggle against oppression a disservice
by not appreciating this anger. i don’t wish this man any harm but i do
wish for a continued push against oppressive systems and the complacency
that allows for them to exist. i’ve had worse said to me. i’ve
experienced more intense oppression than this incident but it is not
right for me to blow this off simply because it gets drowned out by all
the other injustice in the world.
the justice sought after for
the LGBT community started with a riot. a rebellion led by a riot. the
pressure of oppression found a limit and things changed.“
Roger: My name is Roger and I grew up in Pasadena, California. I am Mexicano and I have lived in Philadelphia for 7 years. The experience here is very different from LA in terms of integration. I feel like there were a lot more out and open Latino gay men in LA than they are in Philadelphia.But I found it’s been a good experience being able to integrate into different cultures and atmospheres.
GV: Do you think there is a Gay Latino Community in Philly?
Roger: I think it’s integrated into other cultures but I don’t think there is a solid Gay Latino community the way it is in other parts of the country.
“i remember when i was a little big, at party events my father and uncle would play dominos. if a feminine man walked by, they would laugh. they would say "if my son were to come out as gay, i would kick his ass. i wouldn’t accept it.” this scared me as kid so i started to change how i would act and dress. i remember, little by little i began to change myself.“ - Moses Denn [Model & Actor]
Do you think there is a Latino Gay/Queer Community?
“I think there is. I think that people have created community within community. Philadelphia is a city of neighborhoods. I think there is sorta these enclaves or pockets of queer Latino people who have become close friends. I think that if they venture out into the night life, there may be some cross pollination and mixing. I believe that there is, that there are queer Latino communities in Philadelphia.” Felix Perez
“There is just something about this community (The Radical Fairies) that is about heart. At the same time, it is about blurring the lines and self-discovery and authenticity. It has allowed me to feel safe enough to explore who I am and who I think I am.” Didier Garcia
GV: So you have been crowned Mr. Latino History Project, what is the importance of that title for you?
Ivan: The importance of being part of the Latino History Project is to help my community and have a major impact on the youth I work with; empowering them to overcome the obstacles that affect their daily lives. They are from communities that have limited resources and access to adequate education, employment opportunities and health services. This title has provided me the opportunity to become a better advocate and mentor by challenging me to take my community work to the next level. All these things are why it is important to me to be a part of the Latino History Project. – Ivan Aguilar [Washington, DC]
Tomàs My name is Tomaàs, I’m from Florida and I currently live in North East Philadelphia. I am half Puerto Rican and half Mexican.
GV: What do you think of Philadelphia’s Queer* Latino Community so far?
Tomàs: It’s very different from where I am from and it’s a lot harder to make friends. A lot of people are not very social and I am a very social person. In the two years that I have been here, I have met four other gay Latinos but only two of them were friendly.
GV: Well you have friends now, you’re a gran varòn!
