psa. if we’re mutuals, we’re automatically friends. u don’t need to say things like “sorry to bother” or “sorry im annoying” bc ur not. ur my friend. u can come to me for anything. u need help? im here. wanna chat? hmu. just wanna gush abt your muse? go for it. we’re friends. ily.
More you might like
born on september 7, 1957, in columbia, ohio, jermaine, who was already a budding entertainer, got his first taste of fame when became a soul dancer after his family moved to chicago in 1972. jermaine became a local celebrity and when the show relocated to los angeles, jermaine, along with friend, jody watley followed.
by 1979, jody was scoring hits as part of the r&b group, shalamar. jermaine joined the group on tour as a background dancer and singer.
a chance meeting with boy george of culture club in 1983, not only resulted in jermaine providing backing vocals on the group’s top 10 hit, “miss me blind”, but the group financed jermaine’s demo that eventually landed him a deal with arista records
his debut single, the cheeky, “the word is out”, was released in 1984 and became a hit on the club circuit. it wasn’t until two years later with the release of his sophomore album, “frantic romantic”, that jermaine scored his biggest hit.
released in 1986, “we don’t have to take our clothes off” was touted by some as an “abstinence only” theme during a time when the country’s panic around hiv dominated prevention messaging. the song became a worldwide hit reaching top 5 in the united states, uk, germany and canada.
the follow-up single “jody” was inspired by his friend jody watley. while not a major cross-over hit, it did land at #9 on the dance chart in late 1986.
jermaine was able to bounce back in 1988, when “say it again", (still one of my fave pop songs of all time), peaked at #27 on the hot 100 and top 10 around the world. it was his last major hit before fading from the music scene in 1991.
on march 17, 1997, jermaine died of complications caused by HIV. he was just 39 years old. his burial site was left without a tombstone (it didn’t even have a grave marker) for over 17 years. jermaine finally received tombstone in 2014 after it was anonymously paid for by a fan.
jermaine, we remember you.
Pedro Zamora (February 29, 1972 - November 11, 1994), was one of the earliest stars of reality TV. He was also one of the first out Latino gay men living with HIV in popular media. Diagnosed when he was a junior in high school, Pedro became a hero. This is for him.
In 1994, a friend of mine (who we will call Lionel) asked me to accompany him to a clinic in West Philadelphia to get the results of his HIV test. Back then, HIV tests were not rapid – it took an entire week to get your results; a week of assessing and reevaluating every decision you had made up until that point. I remember feeling privileged that he had trusted me enough to ask me to go with him. It never occurred to me that Lionel would test positive. We were young teens already fighting daily battles to survive. My thought – my wish – was that we would be spared.
The visit didn’t last long. Honestly, I don’t remember much, besides being given condoms by the nurse. The nurse was gentle and kind. We put the condoms in our pockets and walked out. We made small talk on our way back to the car when we ran into another friend. We joked and decided that we would get lunch: a fish platter.
As we were waiting for our food order, Lionel whispered, “We are dying.” I paused and replied, “Here you go! What the hell do you mean?” He stated again, “We are all dying. Every day.” The realization that my friend was HIV positive immediately hit me. I remember telling myself “Don’t break. Keep a straight face.” Thank God I listened to my instincts because my other friend broke into tears and damn near fainted as Lionel disclosed that he was HIV-positive. My immediate response was “We will beat this. I promise you.” That’s what I said, but I knew (at the time) that I was lying. I knew that our conversations about the future would be no longer.
Later that night, I tuned into MTV’s “The Real World.” This was long before reality TV was a “thing.” While already into its third season, “The Real World” was still groundbreaking to me. I was immediately mesmerized by cast member Pedro Zamora. I was in complete awe that there was a Latino gay man on TV! I picked up the phone and called Lionel and told him to turn to MTV. We watched that episode while on the phone. We watched every episode while on the phone. There was something about the will, courage, and love that Pedro possessed that supported me in supporting Lionel. Pedro inspired us to have conversations about HIV with friends. Pedro shattered the myth that only white gay old men were impacted. Pedro reminded us that life does go on.
While watching the season finale, it was announced that Pedro had succumbed to HIV. My stomach sank. Lionel and I began to cry. I knew that we were not crying just for Pedro but for what would eventually happen to him. I knew there was nothing I could say. I no longer believed what I had initially said months earlier “We will beat this. I promise you.”
We managed these feelings and fears without adult support. We navigated shame without support groups. We continued to be teens doing teen things with a heavy secret; a secret that we shared only with Pedro. Now Pedro, our single hope of inspiration was gon.
in 1996, I was working as a peer youth educator at a local Latino AIDS organization in Philadelphia, when the news of a breakthrough in HIV treatment was announced. Suddenly there was hope. The promise I had made to Lionel two years earlier now seemed possible. Suddenly, the conversations about the future returned.
Looking back, I know for a fact that we would have not survived those years without the inspiration Pedro Zamora provided us. He sustained us so that Lionel could make it. Pedro – in his indirect way – served as both mentor and big brother. So on this day, in celebration of his birthday, I speak his name. We thank him for the love and possibility he provided then and the light he continues to provide us.
Thank you, Pedro, we are Gran Varones because of you were.
this is one of my fave write ups about kikis with louie. it also helped that i was interviewed by a queer person of color.
are dating apps still a thing? on episode six of #KikisWithLouie, gran varones’ and My Story Out Loud’s own, armonte butler meet’s up with caitlyn caruso to discuss their perspective on dating in the digital age. watch full episode! also remember to subscribe!