Amplifying Queer & Trans history and the stories of Latinx & Afro-Latinx Gay | Queer | Trans | Bisexual Men & Bois
on this #MemorialDay, i am reminded of the 1988 “why we fight” speech given by queer rights and AIDS activist vito russo (july 11, 1946 – november 7, 1990) at ACT UP rallies.
may these selections serve as a reminder to those of us who were drafted into this war - we are not and we were never alone in our rage.
“Living with AIDS is like living through a war which is happening only for those people who happen to be in the trenches. Every time a shell explodes, you look around and you discover that you’ve lost more of your friends, but nobody else notices. It isn’t happening to them. They’re walking the streets as though we weren’t living through some sort of nightmare. And only you can hear the screams of the people who are dying and their cries for help. No one else seems to be noticing.
And it’s worse than a war, because during a war people are united in a shared experience. This war has not united us, it’s divided us. It’s separated those of us with AIDS and those of us who fight for people with AIDS from the rest of the population.
Someday, the AIDS crisis will be over. Remember that. And when that day comes — when that day has come and gone, there’ll be people alive on this earth — gay people and straight people, men and women, black and white, who will hear the story that once there was a terrible disease in this country and all over the world, and that a brave group of people stood up and fought and, in some cases, gave their lives, so that other people might live and be free.
And then after we kick the shit out of this disease, we are all gonna be alive to kick the shit out of this system so that this never happens again.”
Rest in power, Vito. You and millions of others would still be here had it not been for this government’s willful neglect and failure.
i am just five days shy of the second anniversary of my 40th birthday. you can celebrate with me by buying me a long island iced tea (with pineapple juice 🍹) - but instead of actually buying me one, you can donate that $15 to THE GRAN VARONES
for the past 4 years, gran varones has been committed to amplifying queer and aids history and the stories of latinx and afro-latinx gay, queer, trans, bi men and bois.
the project is completely volunteer-based and thrives because of community support. so please consider celebrating my birthday with me by donating.
in the fall of 1989, i was a 12 year-old fem as fuck youth who hungered for any queer representation on tv when i discovered the groundbreaking sitcom, “brothers.” the show, which was the first weekly sitcom on cable, had just ended it’s five-year run showtime and was now finding life in syndication.
on the surface, the show’s premise about three brothers who couldn’t be any more from different from each other, was typical. what separated “brothers” from other sitcoms at the time, was that one of the brothers, cliff, was gay and had an extremely flamboyant gay best friend named donald. while the show wasn’t the first sitcom to feature a gay character, that distinction goes to the short-lived 1972 sitcom “the corner bar”, “brothers” was the first to have both lead and secondary gay characters. something that we now take for granted. but in 1984, this was pretty revolutionary, especially during a time when anything gay was equated to AIDS, death and perversion.
“brothers” premiered as cable’s first weekly sitcom on showtime on july 13, 1984. the first season centered around the youngest brother, cliff’s coming out and his older brothers joe, a former professional football player and lou, the macho construction worker, struggle to support cliff.
of course, because my family didn’t have cable, i didn’t know this show existed until its syndication run on philly 57 in philadelphia. the station would later become the UPN channel and then the CW.
anywho, it took just one episode for me to be hooked. it was unlike anything my younger-self had even seen. i watched the show religiously. i idolized donald so much and his unapologetic approach to existing. he smart, funny as hell, had style and fem as fuck. looking back, i now understand that part of my connecting with donald and for the entire show for that matter, was that the queer characters were fully developed. they were not just limited to the side-kick or just the comic relief. although, donald was the breakout star of the show.
one of my favorite episodes of “brothers” is a season two episode entitled, “the stranger.” in the episode, joe learns that his former football teammate, bubba (played by late jamesavery of “the fresh prince of bel-air” fame), has AIDS. joe struggles with the news while cliff shuts down. this leaves donald to cut through the fear, trauma and pain by providing support and factual information.
In this first clip, bubba returns to philadelphia to visit joe. after learning of bubba’s retirement, joe is baffled and wants to know what is going on with his best friend. you will notice at the start of the clip that bubba is afraid to hug joe.
“the stranger” premiered on oct. 23, 1985. by this time, hiv infections tripled from the year before and claimed over 8,000 people just that year. this episode was written to help educate the masses. in this clip, bubba discloses and joe is left stunned. cliff is visually shaken that AIDS has made it’s way closer to his world.
what makes this episode so powerful is that communicates the fear of loving each other that gay men, even in this day and age, still have about loving other gay men. cliff so painfully states, “how do you deal with the fact that terror is a real thing and that death comes from loving. And the only kind of loving that you want.” donald quickly reminds cliff that AIDS does not come from loving. Even in 1985, while gay men were fighting to live, we were being socialized to believe that our kind of love is dangerous and risky.
cliff: aids has been this boogieman in my closet for the past year and it’s calling me back in. in this clip, donald, whom i absolutely loved, provided me my first lesson on hiv stigma and the government’s intentional disgraceful response.
the final scene, even 33 years later, still makes me crumble. there was no HIV treatment in 1985. hell, the virus was identified just a year before the airing of this episode. the hatred of people living with AIDS, fueled by homophobia and by the government’s disgraceful inaction, was just beginning to peak.
sadly, this episode is never given the same celebration that is given to the “designing women” AIDS 1987 episode, “killing all the right ones.” remarkably, “brothers” is seldom ever mentioned whenever people talk or write about the history of AIDS and/or queer representation on TV. this show is not even mentioned on wikipedia’s list of HIV positive TV characters.
“brothers” was ahead their time. in many ways, it was the pre-curser to “will & grace” and in it’s short time, “brothers” still managed to address the stigma of AIDS and the loneliness and fear it creates in our communities.
i am still hoping that showtime releases the entire series on dvd. until then, i will keep speaking of a show that marked me for life.
on june 8, 2016, after making national news for the pervasive anti-blackness in the gayborhood, philadelphia unveiled their new official pride flag. what made this pride flag notable was that it included black and brown stripes. while it was celebrated by many, it also pissed off many gays who said it was a publicity stunt and that the flag was ruined because it the additional stripes made it about race. ha!
in the two years since, the same gays who hated the flag are now the same ones waving it. mainly because the narrative about the reasons why the flag was created had been so watered down or frankly, just forgotten. .
here is a quick history.
in 2015, gran varones along with the black & brown cooperative, philly for real justice, act up philadelphia, journalist ernest owens and countless others began to sound the alarm on the anti-blackness and violence of gay club owners and lgbtq non-profit leadership. city officials discounted accused us of being the “problem” by “creating division” in the gayborhood.
spearheaded by the BBWC, we supported the successful campaign to get both the director of the office of lgbtq affairs and the ceo of the largest lgbtq organization in the state to resign. because of the campaign and strategic organizing and direct actions, the city created policies that would hold lgbtq businesses and organizations accountable for their anti-blackness. all of this was made possible but the same black and brown queer & trans folks who sacrificed their bodies, social capital and employment to demand accountability.
it was this radical resistance and organizing that inspired philadelphia to adopt the #MoreColorMorePride flag. yes, the flag serves as a reminder of black and brown LGBTQ+ community members but it is also a reminder of black and brown queers and trans resistance. this flag was a product of shifting an entire city to address its anti-blackness.
without the courageous work of the mentioned groups, sharron cook, christian axavier lovehall and many others, this new pride flag would not be possible. may this be remembered 50 years from now.
born on september 7, 1957, in columbia, ohio, jermaine, who was already a budding entertainer, got his first taste of fame when became a soul dancer after his family moved to chicago in 1972. jermaine became a local celebrity and when the show relocated to los angeles, jermaine, along with friend, jody watley followed.
by 1979, jody was scoring hits as part of the r&b group, shalamar. jermaine joined the group on tour as a background dancer and singer.
a chance meeting with boy george of culture club in 1983, not only resulted in jermaine providing backing vocals on the group’s top 10 hit, “miss me blind”, but the group financed jermaine’s demo that eventually landed him a deal with arista records
his debut single, the cheeky, “the word is out”, was released in 1984 and became a hit on the club circuit. it wasn’t until two years later with the release of his sophomore album, “frantic romantic”, that jermaine scored his biggest hit.
released in 1986, “we don’t have to take our clothes off” was touted by some as an “abstinence only” theme during a time when the country’s panic around hiv dominated prevention messaging. the song became a worldwide hit reaching top 5 in the united states, uk, germany and canada.
the follow-up single “jody” was inspired by his friend jody watley. while not a major cross-over hit, it did land at #9 on the dance chart in late 1986.
jermaine was able to bounce back in 1988, when “say it again", (still one of my fave pop songs of all time), peaked at #27 on the hot 100 and top 10 around the world. it was his last major hit before fading from the music scene in 1991.
on march 17, 1997, jermaine died of complications caused by HIV. he was just 39 years old. his burial site was left without a tombstone (it didn’t even have a grave marker) for over 17 years. jermaine finally received tombstone in 2014 after it was anonymously paid for by a fan.
joseph beam was a fierce activist, poet and artist, who in his short time on this planet, provided and continues to provide, as charles stevens describes it, a compass for us to locate ourselves and to discover each other.
born and raised in philadelphia, pa, joseph began to gain national attention in the early 1980’s with his articles and stories. by 1984, the gay and lesbian press awarded him with a certificate for outstanding achievement for a minority journalist.
throughout the first half of the 80’s, joseph collected material for anthology of writings by and about black gay men.
in 1986, joseph’s book, “in the life” was released. the first anthology of writings by black gay men, included 29 authors and explored what it was like to be both black and gay, in america, at the height of the AIDS epidemic.
“in the life” was initially ignored by mainstream queer press and academia. over 30 years later, it is now widely regarded as a milestones in queer literature.
joseph was working on a follow-up to “in the life” when he died of AIDS-related complications on december 27, 1988 - three days shy of his 34th birthday.
joseph’s mother, dorothy beam and his friend, the late great essex hemphill, completed the work of joseph’s follow-up to “in the life.” it was published under the title of “brother to brother” in 1991.
joseph beam would have been 64 years today. his prolific words continue to inform us of a history that must always be remembered and his legacy continues to be a compass, a reminder that we may never forget to locate each other.
may 21 will mark the 40th anniversary of the white night riots that took place in san francisco in 1979 after dan white was sentenced to just 8 years in prison for the murder of mayor george moscone and supervisor harvey milk.
by the turn of the 1970’s, the castro district of san francisco had become a queer & trans utopia that provided a sense of sexual freedom, liberation, and self-realization. however, both local and national anti-gay legislation & sentiments were threatening that paradise.
in 1977, miss america runner-up & florida citrus orange juice “queen” lead a successful “save our children” campaign to overturn a dade county ordinance prohibiting discrimination based on sexual orientation. that win launched a nat’l movement against the lgbtq community.
in 1978, harvey milk, the first out gay man to be elected to public office in CA, helped to get a non-discrimination ordinance signed in to SF law & was integral in mobilizing lgbtq folks and allies to shut down a statewide bill to ban gay teachers.
former cop dan white, who was elected to the SF board of supervisors the same time as harvey, was the only board member to vote against the non-discrimination bill. embarrassed and angered that his own bills failed, white resigned from his position on november 10, 1978.
in the following weeks, white reconsidered his decision and asked to be reappointed to his position. after being told during a radio interview that another person would be appointed to the board in his place, dan white set out to punish those he felt had humiliated him.
on the morning of november 27, 1978, dan white snuck into city hall through a side window & with a loaded 38 caliber smith & wesson, and traveled to city hall. walked into the office of mayor george moscone, an ally of harvey’s & shot him 4 times, 2 shots to the head.
as dan white rushed through the hall searching harvey milk, he stop to reload his gun. when he found harvey down the hall, white shot harvey 5 times, two times in the head. the murders shocked an already devastated city who that just beginning to process the jonestown massacre.
in may of 1979, white was tried for 2 counts of 1st degree murder. however, the mostly older white & working class jury delivered a guilty verdict of voluntary manslaughter w/ sentence of just 8 yrs. for gay community, this was further proof that the justice system was anti-gay.
thousands marched to city hall to protest the verdict. some held signs that read, “pity for the privilege, death penalty for the poor” and “white(s) get away with murder.” as the crowd grew, the pain and disappointment quickly turned into collective rage.
outnumbered by the gays, cops retreated as the gays rioted at city hall breaking windows. when things subsided, folks headed back to the castro district. in retaliation, police descended onto the castro and invaded a gay bar later that night.
police violently struck gay patrons. still filled with complete fury and disdain of the police state and justice system, the gays fought back and set police cars on fire. by the end of the night, dozens of police cars were set ablaze and 20 people were arrested.
the white night riots are an important chapter in queer history. on the night of may 21, 1979, the san francisco gays challenged the police state and defended themselves from police violence. they set the city on fire.
the following san francisco pride, marchers held signs that read “lesbians against police violence” & “end police violence.” cops were seen as a threat to queer liberation. later that year, in november of 1979, close to 100,000 people marched in support gay rights in DC.
the white night riots signaled a continued a trans & queer revolution that was ignited during the stonewall uprising 10 years earlier. pride marches were political and even more so just two years later when the aids epidemic began its assault on the queer community
sadly, in many ways, the aids epidemic truncated the revolution that we were on the brink of by stealing the lives of those who knew our liberation could never be realized under the police state.
BAN POLICE FROM PRIDE!
this pride season, may we all remember that the first pride was a riot. every culture shift for our basic human rights have been because of riots and direct actions. this year, honor black and brown trans women who rioted for us. remember the white night rioters by banning police
on november 7, 1991, earvin “magic” johnson shocked the world when he disclosed via a televised press conference that he was hiv positive. this remains a monumental moment in both sports and AIDS history.
“because of the hiv virus that i have, i will have to retire from the lakers today.” he went on to say, “i will miss playing. i will now become a spokesperson for hiv because i want people, young people to realize that they can practice safe sex.”
here is some context as to why this announcement was huge in 1991:
156,143 AIDS deaths were reported
the cdc reported that one million people were living with hiv
hiv still considered by mainstream media as the “gay plague.”
in many ways, we were still in the dark ages.
magic kept his promise to elevate and amplify the conversation about hiv. in 1992, he hosted an aids awareness special on nickelodeon. the special featured, a then 7-year-old hydeiabroadbent, who was facing intense stigma for her peers and adults.
just three months after his announcement, magic returned the play in the 1992 all-star game. with just 14 seconds remaining, magic scored a three-pointer to cement his team’s lead over the east.
in 1992, magic came out of retirement. some teammates expressed they would not play in a game w/ magic for fear that they would contract hiv. after playing in several pre-season games, he retired again before the start of the regular season, because of the stigma he faced.
magic remained one of the most beloved athletes in history. of the court, he became a champion raising awareness and advocating for hiv prevention and treatment.
when magic disclosed his hiv status, he said, “i will beat this.” in nov 1991, no one really beat the odds. he was the first celebrity to, for me at least, to live and thrive with hiv. he beat the odds and challenged hiv stigma so that people like me could beat them as well.
it has been two years since christopher collins left this world. he was 37 years old. he was my first love and for years, my only love. he was an integral part of hiv prevention youth program development in philadelphia.
we met in the mid 1990s. we were a part of a group of black & brown queer & trans youth who were minding themselves. we didn’t have many mentors as most of the adults in our lives were either dying, caring for the dying or traumatized by the impact hiv/aids had on our community.
we were kids building rome with bricks cemented by our commitment to fuckin’ exist without apologies and shame. we bought our first rainbow necklaces together. we imagined a world for us that was yet to be written about in the books we read but we still imagined.
we both worked in hiv non-profit. that shit drained us both of life and spirit. we built programs that we had no access to. we gave the world everything including our relationship.
chris and i would work together again in 2012. we facilitated a weekly youth group for black & brown trans & queer youth. we joked about all that we survived. we cried about how the work & movement sometimes does not love you back.
chris wanted the movement and work to love him back. some of us learn to breathe through straws under the weight of the world that tells us we are not enough, our love is not enough. and some of us choose to fly in a dimension where oxygen is not restricted. chris chose the latter.
chris, the loss of your spirit is felt by those of us who survived hiv prevention of the 1990s. it is felt by those of us who continue to (barely) survive the non-profit industrial complex. your loss is felt by everyone who thought this work would save us.
chris was my first love. he was my friend. he was one of the most important relationships i had in this work. i miss his laugh. i miss him. today, i raise him up.
rest well, chris.
if you are feeling alone and/struggling right now, remember that lifeline is here for you. call the national suicide prevention hotline at 1.800.273.TALK (8255)
“i get this conformist shit from queens all the time. they always want to read me. they always want me to do it their way. i am not going to conform to the gay lifestyle as they see it and that’s for sure.” - sylvester
sylvesterjames jr. september 6, 1947 - december 16, 1988 black, queer, and a visionary who bent gender, musical genres and eventually time.
born in watts, losangeles, sylvester crafted his vocal stylings in the church. he often said his entire being was inspired by black women in the church. after spending a few years in the sylvester and the hot band, sylvester scored his first hit in 1978, when the lead single “disco heat”, featuring two tons of fun aka the weather girls, from his successful album “step II” became his first top 40 hit.
it was just a few months later in january of 1979, sylvester became an ICON when “you make me feel (mighty real)” set dance floors on fire. originally recorded as a mid-tempo piano driven gospel song, but patrickcowley, electronic dance music pioneer, offered to remix the song. changing the sound of dance music forever.
after a few years of battling with his record label over creative differences, (they even had him record an album w/o his falsetto voice), sylvester signed to megatone. in 1982, sylvester returned to the top of the dance charts with the patrickcowley produced “do you wanna funk.”
patrick cowley & sylvester built the foundation of high n-r-g music. sadly, their partnership did not last. while touring with sylvester in europe, patrick fell ill and returned the united states. with the AIDS epidemic just beginning and medical providers knowing close to nothing, patrick was diagnosed with food poisoning. his health began to deteriorate and when he was finally diagnosed with HIV (called GRID then), patrick was sent home after doctors could do no more for him.ith the AIDS epidemic just beginning,
on november 12, 1982, cowley was one of the first gay artists to die from what would later be called aids. he was just 32 years old.
sylvester was after signing with warner bros. records, sylvester released “mutual attraction” his last album in 1986. the lead single “someone like you” became a hit at r&b radio and topped the dance charts.
on december 31, 1986, sylvester appeared on the late show starring joan rivers. after performing “someone like you”, he sat down to interview with joan. after noticing his wedding band, she asked, “who are you married to?” on live tv, sylvester answered, “rick.” ICONIC!
during the same appearance, sylvester mentions AIDS and the importance of taking action. he also let miss joan have it when she asks, “what did you say when your family found out you wanted to be a drag queen?” sylvester, responds, “i’m not a drag queen. i’msylvster!”
in sept of 1987, sylvester’s husband, rickcramner died due to AIDS complications. the night after rick died, sylvester performed at the victory party for the softball world series. he sang his now legendary cover of pattilabelle’s “you are my friend.”
in june of 1988, sylvester attended san francisco’scatro gay freedom parade in a wheelchair in front of the people with AIDS banner. sylvester was guant and at first the cheering crowd did not recognize him. once word got around that the person in the wheelchair was sylvester, the crowd fell silent. then the large crowd began to cheer and shouting his name, “sylvester! sylvester!”
later that year, with his mother by his side, sylvester became an ancestor when he too died due to AIDS complications.
even in the end, sylvester was committed to never hiding his extraordinary light. he planned his own funeral and insisted that he be dressed in a red kimono in an open top coffin.
today, we remember sylvester, who taken from this world far too soon, on this day 30 years ago.
“i don’t believe that AIDS is a wrath of god. people have a tendency to blame everything in god.”
psa. if we’re mutuals, we’re automatically friends. u don’t need to say things like “sorry to bother” or “sorry im annoying” bc ur not. ur my friend. u can come to me for anything. u need help? im here. wanna chat? hmu. just wanna gush abt your muse? go for it. we’re friends. ily.
miss-tries-way-too-hard