gran varones turns 5 this year and what better way to begin that celebration by announcing our first fellowship for hiv positive varones creatives.

the positive digital arts fellowship will work with 5 hiv positive latinx and afro-latinx men who identify as gay, queer, trans or bi. the fellowship will provide support and tools on creating digital content that challenges hiv stigma and promotes family acceptance.

for more information or to check out the application

please share with your networks.

COLLECTIVE STATEMENT

Trans and queer people of color have been and continue to be the vanguard of every major movement for social justice. While trans and queer people of color have acted as a moral compass for social movements, their stories and their leadership are pushed to the margins. Moreover, anti-blackness within the LGBTQ+ and immigrant justice movements have led to marginalization and attempted erasure of Black communities. This is especially true for Black migrants broadly and Black LGBTQ+ migrants specifically.

About the Rally & March:

We gathered in New Mexico to uplift and center queer and trans migrants in the movement to #AbolishICE. Roxsana Hernandez, a transgender woman from Honduras, was detained at Cibola County Correctional Center and died while in custody. Currently, Udoka Nweke, a gay Nigerian migrant, is in Adelanto Detention Center, and all he’s seen of the United States is a jail cell. The rampant physical and brutal treatment that queer and trans migrants face behind bars can be fatal, particularly for people living with HIV. Our demands today are clear: End detention, stop deportations, and decry the the anti-Black racism that renders Black lives, including Black migrant lives, disposable.

Demands:

We demand an end to the detention and deportation of trans and queer migrants as well as the criminalization of Black people.

We call on LGBTQ+ and immigrant rights movement to decry anti-Blackness and engage in active solidarity with Black LGBTQ+ migrants by uplifting our presence and leadership.

We demand the release of all trans people currently detained at all immigration detention facilities around the country, including right here at the Cibola County Correctional Facility.

We demand an end to all forms of immigration detention and deportation.

We call for the complete abolishment of ICE and prisons.

#AbolishICE must also mean #AbolishPolice. Our demands reflect our belief that whether it is an immigration prison or a county jail, people are being put in cages and they are dying in them. It is the ugly truth that we must reckon with in order to achieve justice for migrants, particularly Black migrants who are disproportionately targeted by all types of law enforcement.

We demand justice for Roxsana Hernandez and other trans and queer people who have died in ICE custody. We hold all people, companies and agencies responsible for her care and safety responsible for Roxsana’s death and we call for them to be held accountable immediately.

Today, we are thinking about Udoka Nweke, whose mental health is deteriorating and is currently in Adelanto Detention Center. All he has seen of the United States is a jail cell. Black migrants and Black queer and trans migrants face a U.S. legal system steeped in anti-Black racism and their voices need to be heard.

We demand an end to all detention. Queer and trans migrants in detention are inhumanely denied life-saving medical care, including mental health care, transition-related care, and treatment for people living with HIV.

# # #

may 21 will mark the 40th anniversary of the white night riots that took place in san francisco in 1979 after dan white was sentenced to just 8 years in prison for the murder of mayor george moscone and supervisor harvey milk.

by the turn of the 1970’s, the castro district of san francisco had become a queer & trans utopia that provided a sense of sexual freedom, liberation, and self-realization. however, both local and national anti-gay legislation & sentiments were threatening that paradise.

in 1977, miss america runner-up & florida citrus orange juice “queen” lead a successful “save our children” campaign to overturn a dade county ordinance prohibiting discrimination based on sexual orientation. that win launched a nat’l movement against the lgbtq community.

in 1978, harvey milk, the first out gay man to be elected to public office in CA, helped to get a non-discrimination ordinance signed in to SF law & was integral in mobilizing lgbtq folks and allies to shut down a statewide bill to ban gay teachers.

former cop dan white, who was elected to the SF board of supervisors the same time as harvey, was the only board member to vote against the non-discrimination bill. embarrassed and angered that his own bills failed, white resigned from his position on november 10, 1978.

in the following weeks, white reconsidered his decision and asked to be reappointed to his position. after being told during a radio interview that another person would be appointed to the board in his place, dan white set out to punish those he felt had humiliated him.

on the morning of november 27, 1978, dan white snuck into city hall through a side window & with a loaded 38 caliber smith & wesson,  and traveled to city hall. walked into the office of mayor george moscone, an ally of harvey’s & shot him 4 times, 2 shots to the head.

as dan white rushed through the hall searching harvey milk, he stop to reload his gun. when he found harvey down the hall, white shot harvey 5 times, two times in the head. the murders shocked an already devastated city who that just beginning to process the jonestown massacre.

in may of 1979, white was tried for 2 counts of 1st degree murder. however, the mostly older white & working class jury delivered a guilty verdict of voluntary manslaughter w/ sentence of just 8 yrs. for gay community, this was further proof that the justice system was anti-gay.

thousands marched to city hall to protest the verdict. some held signs that read, “pity for the privilege, death penalty for the poor” and “white(s) get away with murder.” as the crowd grew, the pain and disappointment quickly turned into collective rage.

outnumbered by the gays, cops retreated as the gays rioted at city hall breaking windows. when things subsided, folks headed back to the castro district. in retaliation, police descended onto the castro and invaded a gay bar later that night.

police violently struck gay patrons. still filled with complete fury and disdain of the police state and justice system, the gays fought back and set police cars on fire. by the end of the night, dozens of police cars were set ablaze and 20 people were arrested.

the white night riots are an important chapter in queer history. on the night of may 21, 1979, the san francisco gays challenged the police state and defended themselves from police violence. they set the city on fire.

the following san francisco pride, marchers held signs that read “lesbians against police violence” & “end police violence.” cops were seen as a threat to queer liberation. later that year, in november of 1979, close to 100,000 people marched in support gay rights in DC.

the white night riots signaled a continued a trans & queer revolution that was ignited during the stonewall uprising 10 years earlier. pride marches were political and even more so just two years later when the aids epidemic began its assault on the queer community

sadly, in many ways, the aids epidemic truncated the revolution that we were on the brink of by stealing the lives of those who knew our liberation could never be realized under the police state.

BAN POLICE FROM PRIDE!

this pride season, may we all remember that the first pride was a riot. every culture shift for our basic human rights have been because of riots and direct actions. this year, honor black and brown trans women who rioted for us. remember the white night rioters by banning police

How Afro-Latinx Queer Non-Binary Artist is taking control of their Musical Destiny

The musical landscape has changed drastically since my days of buying cassette tapes and consuming music via BET’s Video Soul. Lawd, I still miss me some Donnie Simpson and Sherry Carter!

We now exist and thankfully so, during a period when artists can create art on their own terms and share it with their fan base and the world on their own terms. This has been the journey of Kareem. The Lancaster, Pennsylvania based Afro-Latinx Queer Non-Binary singer, songwriter, and producer, Kareem, who uses They/Them pronouns, is taking full advantage of how we consume music in 2018 while pushing the envelope of what is represented in music.

I met up with the magical Kareem a few weeks ago to talk about their journey, their healing and their new album, “Silhouette of a Black Queer.”

Louie: So when did you get the inkling that you could sing?

Kareem: I started singing when I was five and actually it was discovered by my aunt. She was a singer as well and I look up to her so much. She is a gospel singer. I grew up in the church and that is where I got my singing chops. One day in church, I was singing and mimicking her, just making fun of her and how she sang. I didn’t know that she was behind me. So I turned around and she was like, “What are you doing?” I thought I was in trouble but she took me to the youth pastor had me sing for him. That’s when I realized I had a gift.

Louie: Did that experience give you confidence?

Kareem: I was always very uncomfortable with it because I didn’t know what it was given to me for. Because I was very uncomfortable in my own skin, I was bullied a lot. I was told that I was ugly. I was told many things about myself. I had a low self-esteem. I was very depressed. I didn’t look at myself as worth anything or with any talent. It wasn’t until I broke up with my ex-boyfriend, who would say some nasty shit to me like “Kill yourself.”, that I really began to search for what I really wanted for myself and music was a way to cope with a lot of the feelings I was dealing with. I channeled all of it into music.

Louie: So your first EP, “Zesty: The EP” was released just a little over a year ago, 13 months to be exact, what was that like for you?

Kareem: I did the whole project on my iPhone 6. I didn’t have the resources so I was just like I am gonna utilize what I have and make something and it turned out to be better than what I expected. With this project, I talked about what it’s like to be an Afro-Boricua, non-binary. I talk about sexual assault. I talk about sexual liberation. I talk about stuff that is very important to me. A lot of the times when I was growing up, I was locked in this fuckin’ box and I had to conform t everybody else’s standard of what they wanted me to be. And I dealt with that in very unhealthy ways. But looking back, I see my growth. I appreciate who I am as a person. It has made me fall in love with my community more and more and has made we want to be more active and be somebody that can reach out and pull somebody out of that space.

Louie: Falling in love with ourselves can help to save our lives sometimes.

Kareem: I look in the mirror and I am very comfortable in my skin now. I will throw on a full lace front and pump out in public! I would have never imagined at 16 that I would be out here with full bundles! It feels great to out and actually be myself. I get looks and I don’t give a fuck. If you have a problem, I am right here! Come say something to me!

Louie: What has been the toughest part of your musical journey?

Kareem: I was in talks with Atlantic Records, that fell through because they tried to have too much control over me as an artist and they were trying to make me do things that were out of my morality and wanted me to stop doing the type of music that I wanted to do. We could not reach a middle a ground so they just x’ed it out and I was devastated because I thought that we could make something work.

Louie: Fun fact, I have a similar experience. Almost got signed to one of the largest Dance Music labels and walked away when they wanted me to be something I wasn’t. I’ll do a twitter thread about it one day. But that was in 1997 and back then, the thought of creating music on a phone seemed like science fiction. That’s why I love artists like yourself. You are manifesting your own destiny and that is fuckin’ inspiring.

Kareem: That makes me feel very good because I never saw myself being like this at all or doing anything like this. Having people rooting for me, I don’t take that for granted at all. It makes me feel good because I wanted to make music that was authentic, that expressed what I have experienced, what Black queer and trans people go through. I know what it’s like growing up and not seeing myself.

Louie: Is that what inspired the title of the album?

Kareem: It’s called “Silhouette of a Black Queer.” Knowing that there’s not enough representation but I also know that my experience may not be exactly like everyone else’s. We may have similarities. Two of the big things we have are, Blackness and we also have our queerness. So that why I call it Silhouette of a Black Queer. I came up with while I was at the club. I took a picture and I was like “what do I wanna caption this?” and it just came to me.

One of my favorite tracks on the album is a song called “Nasty Queer.” It is everything! I love it because I have never been free to able to talk like that. I did wonder, “What are my parents gonna think when they hear this shit?” But I gotta not worry about what people are gonna think and I gotta have fun.

Louie: If I was a recording artist my sound and visual would so be like Janet Jackson. That is because as a kid, she was the epitome of the perfect Popstar. Who was your “Janet” growing up?

Kareem: Beyoncé! But I get a lot of influences from Black women because they are the ones that I listened to when I was going through all my bullshit in high school and they grace me all my courage and they have been the ones to always root for me and I appreciate that so much. Black women have always been at the forefront of my success. My sister and my cousins have helped me to get to this point and I am always going to elevate and support them. Black women!

Louie: Is Beyoncé to you what Mariah is to me?

Kareem: Yes but I also gravitate toward different artists. There’s Phylis Hyman, Aretha Franklin, Patti LaBelle, Gladys Knight, Mariah Carey, Mary J. Blige, Toni Braxton, There are so many artists that I listened to, that I grew up on. Their music has stood the test o time and now I’m trying to pull from their sound – give me some of this, give me some of that and make it my own. And you hear those influences throughout the album.

Louie: I am so excited for you and excited to listen to the album. 

Kareem: I am really happy about this project because it has taken many months and setbacks. I wrote every single song. I produced 80% of the album myself. The backing track of “Sprung” is produced by my 13-year-old Puerto Rican cousin who lives in New York. I remember going to visit him and he was like “let me play you some of my stuff” and I was like, “Oh shit! What the fuck!” I was like in a trance, I was like I need this, hand it over! I love seeing young people doing artistic stuff. Because for me, I suppressed a lot of that stuff because of my issues. If I knew that this could be an outlet earlier on in the game, I know I would have been further along. But I am good and getting to where I need to be. This is a good body of work. it covers a lot of things I advocate for and things that I am going through.

I feel like people are seeing a growth of me from the beginning of my career until now. I am actually very relaxed about releasing this album. I don’t have anything to critique about this. It’s perfect as it is.

“Silhouette of a Black Queer” is available on all music streaming sites. 

Interviewed and Photographed by: Louie A. Ortiz-Fonseca

it has been two years since christopher collins left this world. he was 37 years old. he was my first love and for years, my only love. he was an integral part of hiv prevention youth program development in philadelphia.

we met in the mid 1990s. we were a part of a group of black & brown queer & trans youth who were minding themselves. we didn’t have many mentors as most of the adults in our lives were either dying, caring for the dying or traumatized by the impact hiv/aids had on our community.

we were kids building rome with bricks cemented by our commitment to fuckin’ exist without apologies and shame. we bought our first rainbow necklaces together. we imagined a world for us that was yet to be written about in the books we read but we still imagined.

we both worked in hiv non-profit. that shit drained us both of life and spirit. we built programs that we had no access to. we gave the world everything including our relationship.

chris and i would work together again in 2012. we facilitated a weekly youth group for black & brown trans & queer youth. we joked about all that we survived. we cried about how the work & movement sometimes does not love you back.

chris wanted the movement and work to love him back. some of us learn to breathe through straws under the weight of the world that tells us we are not enough, our love is not enough. and some of us choose to fly in a dimension where oxygen is not restricted. chris chose the latter.

chris, the loss of your spirit is felt by those of us who survived hiv prevention of the 1990s. it is felt by those of us who continue to (barely) survive the non-profit industrial complex. your loss is felt by everyone who thought this work would save us.

chris was my first love. he was my friend. he was one of the most important relationships i had in this work. i miss his laugh. i miss him. today, i raise him up. 

rest well, chris.

if you are feeling alone and/struggling right now, remember that lifeline is here for you. call the national suicide prevention hotline at 1.800.273.TALK (8255)

as we all celebrate adam rippon and his brilliant performance this past week for the figure team competition at the winter olympics in pyeongchang, i want to remind the universe of the fabulous rudy galindo, a latinx HIV positive gay man who queered the figure skating world more than 20 years ago.

after winning a few junior championships, rudy got a taste of national success skating with kristi yamaguchi, when they won the US national championships in both 1989 and 1990. their partnership soon ended as kristi began her very successful career as a solo skater. rudy’s solo skating career was quite the opposite.

although surviving extreme poverty, rudy’s family had sacrificed everything to support his dream as a figure skater. during the late 80s  and early 90s, rudy struggled personally as two of his coaches and his brother George succumbed to HIV. his sister laura became his coach.

after taking 8 months off from competing, the 1996 US championships were taking place in his hometown of san jose, california. rudy decided to give his skating dream one more shot and decided to compete. he would skate one of the most beautiful and most remembered long programs ever.

with thousands of people cheering for him, rudy became the oldest US  national champion. he became the first out national champion. he became the first mexican-american national champion. that night, rudy became a gawd damn legend!

rudy would go on to win the bronze medal at the world championships. he retired from competing soon after but still skated professionally and chyle, he gave you performances! in april of 2000, he disclosed that he was living with HIV. he skated to “ soon in the clowns” soon after.

“HIV/AIDS is not a death sentence. you can go out there and do what you want.” rudy galindo. he has become an HIV advocate and now coaches kristi yamaguchi’s daughter. and despite not initially having the support of the skating world, rudy is now celebrated as a pioneer.

fun fact: when i was in the hospital w/ a t-cell count of 100, the woman i shared a room with, in an attempt to make me feel better, said, “you know who rudy galindo is? he is so lovely. like you, so lovely.” that shit still stays with me. “if he can survive this, so can you”

much like rudy, i survived and found that place over the rainbow to shine. 

we celebrate you, rudy!