last july, we had the opportunity to share time and space with angel santigo, jr. he met with us just days after getting out of the hospital. we were left inspired and so moved by his joyous spirit.
thank you, angel for being so damn wonderful! ♥
So it’s pride month y'all and I came out twice! Both have been very bittersweet.
I was about 15 years old when I told my parents I was gay. I was 20 years old when I told my parents I was HIV positive. Looking back on it now as a 24-year-old, these past 10 years have been filled with milestones. Yo! Shit hasn’t been easy. I have cried but with every tear came laughter. I have fallen but continuously gotten back up - every time. I have experienced heart breaks over and over and over and still use my heart to guide me.
In these past 10 years, I have met so many inspirational people. Some longer than others and others shorter but felt like forever. I have learned more about myself. as much as I tried to deny I am my father son. I am his son. Attitude and all! And my mothers too! Goodness, I’m extra dramatic! But I love it.
I have tried to live each day like it was my last day. In the short five years that I have been living and thriving with HIV, I am always reminded that “You can either lay there and let it consume or you can get up and do something…” A wise woman who I adore, even though she is a pain in the ass told this.
This means so much more to me than just being gay or being HIV+. This means owning who are you and what you believe in. Owning the fact that no one can take your magic away from you. Pride is about resistance and claiming your place in this world. This is my message to myself and to anyone who will listen to me. LoL
- Jorian Rivera, Philadelphia
every damn time i hear justin bieber’s voice on “despacito.”
also peep the video of justin pretty much saying “fuck you” to the song as he sings “blah, blah, blah” and other words like “dorito” and “burrito.”
today is national HIV long-term survivors day. today we honor, celebrate and continue to stand alongside the long-term survivors of the HIV epidemic. this year’s theme is HIV Resilient. there was a time when surviving and thriving with HIV was science fiction - but here we are. still existing and still resisting!
many of us have defied the odds. and we still have years to go! we salute you and know that many of us are here because many of you fought for the possibility for us just to simply be. thank you.
“because even AIDS, stigma, homophobia, racism, white supremacy, violence and oppression can’t keep us from rising. and when we become ancestors, we will continue rise in the voices of those who speak our names without shame.
so keep rising varones because resurrections are real.”
on this very day last year, we screened our documentary at the fifth annual latino film festival. we were the only film to highlight an experience from the latinx queer community.
i remember being ecstatic. our modest documentary was shot partly with an iphone 3 and with absolutely no budget. never did we imagine that our project would be a part of any film festival. needless to say, we were crying tears of joy.
we spent the entire day at the festival lifting the voices of queer and gay latino men. so much so that we were too tired to go to any after party. anthony, sean and myself just went home to rest. philly pride was the next day and i had three gv interviews scheduled.
we planned to share these pictures the following monday. we planned to share our joy with you all. that did not happen.
the following morning, i got several texts about a shooting in orlando. details were far and few in between. i wasn’t sure how to progress the information, however little. i had a busy day day ahead of me and was trying to stay focused.
as i made my way through philly pride with my then 13 year old son, i began to get details of the massacre. i saw anthony, who is generally has the emotional capacity of a brick, tear up. this is when i knew i had to stop and feel the impact. i began to finally check for details on cnn. this is when i broke. my son asked my i was tearing up. i told him. he was silent. we were all silent. we had literally spent the past two days lifting voices of the community that was murdered.
we spent the following months processing and trying to heal.
we have not shared these pics until now. one of our proudest moments exists with one of our most saddest. our lives and the lives of many queer latinx were different on june 11, 2016. we all awoke to a very different reality on june 12, 2016. however, our stories did not start or end on that day. our stories and our legacy continue.
- louie
*please excuse any typos. wrote and posted while out building community with varones at pride*
Louie: So it’s Pride Month – what was the first gay club you ever went to?
Brian: It was a club in New Orleans called club fusions. I was 18 and I went with my older brother. I remember being so uncomfortable because it wasn’t was I was used to. I remember getting hit on all night and after my brother got a couple drinks for me I let loose and started to enjoy myself. I moved to New Orleans right after high school to live with my dad. My mom thought it would be a good idea for me to get out of Philadelphia.
Louie: When did you move to Philly? Was the change good for you?
Brian: I’ve been raised in and out of Philly most of my life. And as far as Philly being good for me at that time in my life, no. I needed structure and I was going down the wrong road being here which is why my parents made the decision to send me to Louisiana. The scene was such a culture shock for me when move there. I was completely ignorant to anything other than Philadelphia. When I moved back it was like I never left and nothing changed.
Louie: Things are looking up with your engagement, huh?
Brian: Yes, well I’m actually legally married as of March 18, 2016. My husband was a blessing that I always say “fell out of the sky” when I thought about giving up on love he taught me how to again and made me believe that happiness is possible. I knew then I had to tie him down. LoL
Louie: So I always get asked, “Are you Latino?” or “Are you ‘full’ Latino?” It irks my life. Do you get that question?
Brian: Not all the time but I do get the question what are you mixed with lol and as soon as I say Dominican people are like “Aahhhh, that’s what it is.” LoL
Brian Rodriguez, Philadelphia
Interviewed and Photographed by: Louie A. Ortiz-Fonseca
My name is Alexander Velez and I am representing the Gran Varones. The Gran Varones is a legacy project that uses the art of storytelling to lift the voices of Latino & Afro-Latino Gay, Queer and Trans men. We stand alongside with Juntos, the Black and Brown Workers Collective and GALAEI to demand that Carolina Cabrera Digiorgio resign as CEO of Congreso.
As an Afro-Latino queer man, I don’t have the luxury and privilege of separating my life from my politics. My mere existence is a political act of resistance. I, along with other varones, are Congreso’s target population for their HIV prevention programs. We are also the target of Trump, who seeks to not just build wars to keep us separated from our families, healthcare, and life-saving HIV treatment, but he seeks to build walls of oppression that threaten to crush our very existence. Carolina Cabrera Digiorgio is in complete support of Trump and because of this, we demand that step down from her position as CEO.
As an Afro-Latino queer man, I know that silence equals death. I want you all to know that our loud protest is in the name of every who died and fought for an AIDS health care system that now allows Trump supporters like Carolina Cabrera Digiorgio to be in a position of power. Her support and any support of Trump’s racist and fascist regime is a threat to our lives.
Our loud protests are for all of the varones who once layed on hospital beds with a sinking t-cell count counting the minutes until you could hold down your food.
Our loud protests are for all of the varones who avoided looking into mirrors because the sunken face reflection did not reflect the beauty you behold.
Our loud protests are for all of the varones who pieced themselves back together piece by piece after the violence of stigma left them broken and beat.
Our loud protests are for all the varones who survive life by surviving one night at a time.
We salute you.
We praise you.
Because even AIDS,
Stigma,
Homophobia,
Racism,
White supremacy,
Oppression
and whack ass Trump supporters like Carolina Cabrera Digiorgio will not scare us into silence.
We stand on the side of liberation. Carolina, which side are you on?
- gran varones statement at today’s community protest in front of Congreso de Latinos Unidos demanding that congreso’s ceo step down.
macho-queen
hypnotic-flow
my chest hurts
I don’t know where I fit in. *stares at the emo and sweats*
EXCUSE ME. How DARE YOU simplify white culture this much?! As someone with a WHOLE PhD in White Culture I am APALLED that you would leave out the fusion aspect of white culture which is VITAL to their survival and reproductive evolution, as well as cultural linguistosocio capabilities. Behold the TRUE types of white people, taking fusion into account below:
LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
