The Gran Varones is a storytelling project that uses video and photography for Latino Gay and Latino Queer* men. Inspired by Willie Colon’s groundbreaking song “El Gran Varòn,” this project shines a light on what being “out” and “proud” means to us.
Our families are being attacked on all fronts. This country is conducting raids on families, women and children who came to the US seeking protection by fleeing violence from their home countries. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) agents are “apprehending” (more like snatching up people) Central Americans whose asylum applications, DHS claims, have been denied and are now being detained and deported WITHOUT GETTING A COURT HEARING OR ANY DUE PROCESS. It has been reported that as many as 83 Central American immigrants recently denied asylum were murdered within months of their return.
THIS MUST END NOW! Our families deserve freedom! If you see or hear of ICE in your community, contact Juntos at 215.218.9079 so they can spread the word. They can also provide support and information.
Fernando: Thirteen years ago today, I moved from Chicago to Philadelphia with not much more than could fit into a small SUV and with no real idea of what the future would hold. In that time I’ve become a far different person and have found a new home with an amazing career, made some great art, made some amazing friends. I’m a fortunate man.
Louie: Why Philly? Why move here from Chicago?
Fernando: Moved here for love. A hopeless romantic and found that the city was the true love of my life.
Fernando Gonzalez, Philadelphia Interviewed & Photographed by: Louie A. Ortiz-Fonseca
Arching my back To snap the perfect shot I’m bare Maybe this will make him react Make him so erect That he won’t notice how empty I
am I’m blank All that remains is shame
Arching my back He does not even know my name All he knows is that I’m thick Uncut, curvy, and unafraid to
show it all He may think I’m easy Another fast track
Arching my back Inviting a stranger’s touch Lusting for his lips as I sway My hips side to side Waiting for a momentary rush Between the sheets All that remains is a body filled
with shame
Arching my back Snap after snap Pretending it was just a photo It did not mean anything He could look but not touch Until I found myself in the back
seat of his car I felt cheap My lower back pressed against the
door Trying to ignore every thought
telling me “You deserve more”
Arching my back So another stranger could hit my
spot He said, “You could build walls with the
bodies You’ve given your all Did any of them ever make love to
you?”
Written By: Mark Travis Rivera
Mark Travis Rivera is an award-winning activist, choreographer, dancer, speaker, and writer. Raised in Paterson, New Jersey, Rivera learned to overcome the struggles that stem from being Latino, gay, gender non-conforming (femme), and disabled. He learned to embrace every aspect of his identity, which allows him to live a purpose-driven life.
Rivera had been featured at various speaking engagements throughout the US, speaking to audiences at Harvard University, New York University, and San Francisco State University. His talk “Embracing Yourself, Embracing Your Potential” was a hit at the TEDx Talk event at Bergen Community College in Paramus, New Jersey in March of 2014.
A poet and journalist, Rivera has long used writing as a form of expression. His poem, “Love Letters to Myself (Excerpts)” was published in a new anthology, Between: New Gay Poetry More recently, his essay, “Marking My Own Path: An Inner City Dreamer” was published in the anthology, I Am Here: The Untold Stories of Everyday People. Rivera’s writing has also been published in The Bergen Record, Herald News, The Star Ledger, Fox News Latino, and The Huffington Post.
You can also check out Mark’s Gran Varones profile here.
Louie: It’s great to meet you. Have you checked our project? Saul: No, show me. Louie: Are you on instragram? I will show you. Saul: That is nice a project for the gays. I love it. Louie: Would you want your photo taken for the project. Saul: Yeah, Let’s go. Louie: What’s your name on Instagram so I can tag you when we post your pic. Saul: Don’t judge me. lol Louie: No I will not, I promise. Saul: youreafaggot Louie: I love it. Reclaiming the word. Saul: Something like that. lol
Saul, North Philadelphia Interviewed & Photographed by Louie A. Ortiz-Fonseca
My name is Yagnaram Ramanuja Dasan but I also go by Ricky. Yagnaram is my religious name. I am 23, Puerto Rican and I grew up in the Olney section of Philadelphia. I also spent a lot of time in the Fairmount section with my grandmother. So I got to experience two very different neighborhoods at the same time.
Louie: What high school did you go to?
Yagnaram: I went to an all-boys Catholic School.
Louie: Oh.
Yagnaram: I grew up as a very devout child so I really didn’t mind getting religion in school and I liked it. It was really only until high school when I was really getting a sense of my identity and who I was as queer person, All of that really kinda started to weigh down on me. Especially towards the latter end of high school because I was “outed” and I was experiencing bullying and harassment like all the time, so it was a really hard experience.
Louie: What was the response you experienced at school?
Yagnaram: I had a mixed bag of reactions. There were some teachers who supported me but they had to be really, really be hush hush about it and they couldn’t openly support me. Whereas other teachers were very much like “this is a sin and you have to stop.” I had some friends were also gay and who supported me and had my back whenever they saw me getting harassed but it was a really small group of kids and we had to find community in that kind of hostile place. We called ourselves the “secret society.” There were about 5 other boys and when we would down the halls, we’d look out for each other
Louie: How do you discover Hinduism?
Yagnaram: So when I coming out, I was also starting to search for a place spiritually because I really started to feel at odds with the (catholic) church. And eventually in high school I became a Hindu because I so much inspired by Hinduism. It just really started to speak to me and it was also really queer affirming. That was also resonating with me. It was something my parents were opposed to on both fronts because it was like “You’re gay and you got this weird religion thing going. What is that?”
Louie: Has that changed?
Yagnaram: As time has gone on, they have become more accepting of my faith than they are about my sexuality, which is really, really weird for me. I am not entirely sure why that is. But they are far more comfortable asking me questions about my faith than they are about meeting a guy that I am dating. That is not even a possibility for them but they’ll ask me about what I believe and what I do when I go to worship.
Interviewed & Photographed by: Louie A. Ortiz-Fonseca
Louie: So where in Philly did you grow up and what was it like?
Xander: I grew up in the far north east in Somerton. In that area, it was mostly Russians and Europeans, so there wasn’t much of a variety in ethnicity. Since I am a mix between Colombian and Russian, it was (and sometimes still is) very hard to find spaces and places that I could fit in. Growing up, trying to make friends was very difficult. I would get bullied because I couldn’t speak Spanish. If that wasn’t the case, I was being bullied by the neighborhood, because I looked too “exotic” to fit in. Then adding on to the fact that I am gay never really helped with my sense of belonging. I was already an outcast that would try to hide my differences JUST TO FIT IN.
Louie: When did that change for you?
Xander: It wasn’t until high school that I really felt empowered to investigate what it really meant for me to be Latino. I hung out with a few people down Erie, Tioga, and Allegheny. It’s funny because, although I knew i was an outsider, I did not feel like one. Granted I still get the same remarks of looking or speaking a certain type of way, but that is to be expected.
Louie: So you work in the community, what are your thoughts on the current landscape of Gay/Queer Latinxs?
Xander: What I think is needed most in our community is responsibility. I think it is our responsibility to take care of one another. We need to come together and show everyone that we are not just eye candy. We are more than the food we eat, and the color of our skin. We are more than a box you can check off on an application. We are beautiful and talented with a whole history that should not be shadowed by what society makes us believe. We as a community need to rise up from the ashes like our ancestors have before us.
20 years from now, when i look back I hope to see a stronger Latino community. I hope to see my community not being a statistic for the CDC. I hope to see us standing side by side to end the stigma used to bring down our community. I hope to see that we, together, have created a stronger community for all gay Latino men of all ages.
when we started to the gran varones project, we never
imagined that the outcome would be a documentary film. in the winter of 2013,
with a no money, a few iphones, a flip cam and a shoddy microphone, we began
interviewing gay latino men from north philadelphia for a portrait photography
project. our goal was to raise the voices of gay latino men in philadelphia
telling our stories, the stories that often times get left out of the lgbtq
narrative.
in just a few months, we quickly amassed about 20 hours of film.
we knew we had to do something with the footage so we decided to download an
editing program, and learned how to use it as we edited the footage. The final
product is a 55 minute documentary of latino gay men courageously sharing their
stories and experiences.
the “our legacy is alive” documentary is a reminder that we
must tell our stories. the stonewall movie is a sobering truth that if we do
not tell and share our stories, no one will. we hope that you are inspired by
the film to share yours . we hope that this film serves as proof that our
stories can heal and brief life in our communities right here, right now. our
legacy is alive.
project coordinators:
louie a. ortiz-fonseca
anthony leon
sean laughlin
this film and project are dedicated to the courageous varones who have
so generously shared their stories in effort to raise our voices.
special thanks: gloria casarez, brent morales, charlotte sahadeo, erika
amiròn niz, nikki lopez, elicia gonzales, jaymie campbell, kira manser, samantha dato,
raices culturales latinoamericanas, concilio taller puertorriqueño and everyone
who has supported the making of this film and project.
