No one spoke of the beautiful boys
But you did while others kindly whispered
Ugly words that made me shiver
And unkindly delivered my esteem hung on a branch.
I grew deaf to beautiful words
Because I believed that they were lies
The lids on my eyes remained closed
Because I wanted no one to know
Just how often I wanted to die.

No one ever speaks of the beautiful boys,
Ones that move as fancy unfolds
And a graceful stroll
On blood stained concrete,
The boys that made flowers grow
Even in December.
But you remembered our beautiful traits
When the beautiful world just couldn’t wait
To label us the “the tainted ones”
Who painted suns
On bedroom walls to light the nights
When our beautiful bodies were used
For a monster’s delight.
No one teaches beautiful boys
How to fight,
So we never spoke of molestation
But you did.
You looked me in my beautiful eyes and stayed
And said “I believe you. We will be okay”
Reminded me that other boys who understand
The violation of human hands.

I used to let these secrets mold the man
That got scared whenever the lights were dimmed
I smoked the beautiful green earth to forget about him
But you knew and you exhaled
You knew in detail the rhythmic dance
Of feeling ugly, dumb and fat
But you held my body and not for pleasure
And I felt the beauty of peace forever,
You made it better
Because you cried when I cried
The monster beneath my bed finally died
You took my beautiful hands
And we walked across the beautiful sky
Of mercy bound
And our feet never touched the ground
We floated and I noted the clouds we touched
As we roamed
I didn’t realize just how close I was to home
And the beautiful sights I could behold
No one told the beautiful boys that they were
But you did.
You still do.
You still say “I believe you.”
I know of beautiful truths
And beautiful boys because of you
You are the proof because you give
A space and place where the beautiful boy
Can go to live
And we thank you.

a few days ago, i posted this picture. the response i have received has not just been amazingly supportive but it has helped make the little boy inside of me who still struggles with his body in the dark, feel heard.

since then, i have received tons of messages from other men sharing their stories and experiences with sexual abuse. words cannot described how humbled i am that strangers from all over trusted me enough to share something that, for some, requires every bit of courage our bodies can conjure up.

this poem is for us. for those of us who told. and for those of us who didn’t. i believe you.